Vanilla marriage Vs D/s power exchange

Well, well, well, dear readers. I've been very quiet for the last couple of weeks, and for that I'm very sorry. The new academic year started this month, and it's been hard to juggle offline life, let alone having time to see to things online. Now things are settling down a bit more, I think I'll be able to get back to writing posts at least three times a week, hopefully more (when I started this blog I wanted it to be every day, but writing about yourself in detail each day is rather draining)

What's been happening these last few weeks?

As I think I mentioned in passing a while ago (and expanded upon in my other blog), Sean and I have had a couple of problems lately, communication being one of them. The other is my want to have a family. It's something I've been battling with a lot over the last year or so, but recently I've wanted to just give up uni and have a baby and get married and live happliy ever after. This isn't going to happen. There's no way it would work out the way I want it to. Plus, Sean is going to be self employed when he graduates this year, I have a year to go (and probably will stay on in education after)... we'll have no where near enough money to look after a baby.

But I want one. I want to be married. I want to be a stay at home mum and have lots of children and have Sean go out to work and have dinner on the table when he comes home at night, with the kids in bed ready for him to read them a bedtime story.

It struck me a couple of days ago how much I was thinking about this, and in a way it made me rather upset. I wondered why I craved a marriage and children. A wedding certificate doesn't count much these days - the average marriage in this country (UK) lasts less than 9 years. Excepting the more morbid aspects of rights if one of us dies, a marriage really doesn't top what Sean and I currently have. Sean realises this, and tells me that we're going to wait. I'm less rational.

The thing that's bothering me the most though is this question. Why do I crave these essentially vanilla concepts, when what I have at the moment with Sean (A growing 24/7 D/s relationship) is more meaningful, more committing and has a more positive impact on the both of us than a marriage would?