J hears about my revelation

This morning, Sean's friend J picked Sean up early to go to Uni. After they left, I lay in bed snoozing and thinking about what would have happened if our relationship with J was a bit more open...

The doorbell rang. "That'll be J," Sean told me, "stay in bed, you look cute all snuggled up in the covers." I guessed that they were leaving for Uni straight away, but little did I know that they were going to skip their first few lectures to spend their time with me. He grabbed on a pair of jeans and a shirt and went to the door. I heard them talking, J laughing and then the dreaded phrase, "She's in there, go take a look."

J poked his head around the bedroom door and grinned before going back out to talk to Sean again. I heard their muffled talking. I didn't pay too much attention, thinking they were talking about assignments. Along the way, though, I heard "Are you sure she's up for it?" "Yes, she'll do whatever I say," I started to get out of bed then, but ended up keeping under the duvet because I was wearing nothing more than the black lingerie that Sean likes. The door was wide open, so I couldn't even make a run for some clothes. I then heard Sean take J into the kitchen and pour him a drink. Sean left him to it and came back in to see me.

"I think I forgot to mention, J has come round today to see you. He wants to find out just how much of a good girl you are." I sat up on my elbows, not sure exactly what Sean was suggesting. "I thought you had nine o' clock lectures today?" I asked, trying to avoid the issue of what he was actually asking me to do. He stroked my cheek, "Yes, we do, but we're skipping them. The lecturer's crap anyway - all he does is read his notes to us." I looked up at him, "So what are you two boys doing, should I get dressed and join you?" Sean smiled, "Come and join us, but dont bother getting dressed." He took me by the hand and pulled me out of bed, walking me to the kitchen. It was so cold, that already my nipples were visibly hard under my black satin vest. He left me at the kitchen door, allowing me to hover around the door frame as he walked back to J. J whispered something in Sean's ear, they both laughed and I could feel the red flush of embarrassment rising from my chest to my cheeks. "Come over here, cutie, J says his cock's hard." Sean told me. I looked at him in disbelief. Did he really just say that? "J read your post about how you're coming to realise that no hard-on should go without being seen to," he grinned, "and he's got one." I stayed by the door, wondering if I should just go back to the bedroom, get some clothes on and leave. Sure, I had wondered about times like these. Did I really want to do this though?

Sean held out his hand to me, and I found myself walking towards him despite being embarrassed about showing off bits that no-one but my lover should see. Once I was in his arms, he turned me round to face J and quietly encouraged me to kneel before his friend, unzip his fly and suck on his cock. All the while, I was looking at the floor, not sure what would happen if I refused. It sounded like both of them wanted this, though. He let me go and kissed my neck before nudging me in J's direction...

TV sex tips actually work...

Last night Sean tried out a tip we saw on the tele. It worked like a dream. The tip is detailed here, but it basically involves spelling out the alphabet with your tongue when you give a woman head. I've heard of it before and thought it sounded silly... but... wow! It's really worth trying, especially when the flat of the tongue is used instead of the point. Yummy.

Very quickly, I lusted for Sean's cock inside me, and he indulged me. Once again, I had that sense of there being "nothing more right in the whole world", first mentioned here. That feeling overwhelms me, and I often wonder why so many sane people decree that sex between unmarried, but committed, people is wrong. Sex isn't a vice; it's the most wonderful, forfilling, beautiful thing in the whole world. Nothing is more right.

Our love making last night was very simple, no ropes or spoons in sight. It was just plain, loving sex with lots of noise, kisses and cuddles. I realise that for a blog called "S&M Blog", ours has been very 'vanilla' recently. Hopefully we will get back to the chains and spoons sometime soon...

Easily distracted

When we came home from camp (link) we had roughly 45 minutes until the bus came, which would take us to the union cinema. I had my orders, I was to run a bath for us both. So I did, we're both stinky after a weekend camp. The actual bath itself was shared due to time constraints and we spent all our time washing each other instead of relaxing. I couldn't help but notice his hard-on bobbing about in the water, though. When it was time for us to get out, he stood first and I stayed on my knees to give him room. Which put me just at the right height to be distracted by his cock. Yummy. "What are you doing?" he asked me as I gave his cock a couple of kisses. "Giving him what he wants" I replied. And with that I sucked his cock all the way till the time came for Sean to come deep in my mouth. I only meant to acknowledge the fact that I knew his cock was hard, I didn't mean to see it all the way through to completion... honest...

The good thing now is that hopefully our love making session tonight will be longer than it would have been. Lucky me.

Yes, it snowed.

We went camping over the weekend. Yes, it was freezing cold. Yes, it snowed. Yes, we're mad. The things you do for the love of children...

Any way, we shared a tent with Sally, mentioned here, and her boyfriend Mark. It was one of those ones that has separate compartments- one for us, one for them and one for our kit. Through-out the whole weekend, Sally kept mentioning that she a) wanted to sleep with me and b) wanted to sleep with Sean. Thing is, if we ever took her up on the offer she'd back out. I like it that way though, I don't want to sleep with a girl who's been my best friend for over 15 years.

On Saturday, Sally told us off because she heard us kissing the night before. Thing was, last night we really were horny. I offered to give Sean a hand-job and in return he could give me one too. I had wanted us to 'perform' at the same time, but Sean pointed out that I'd easily come quicker than he would and that once I've come I'd be too tired. So I went to see to him first. As I've said before, I still have a thing about having his cock in my mouth (link) and I ended up giving him a blow-job... Well, there was nowhere else for his come to go in the dark tent...

He then gave me my first orgasm for over a week. Then we slept, both in that deep post orgasm slumber. Well, I say it was deep; I guess that's writer's license for you - we were constantly woken up by the blustering wind pushing around our tent. And when I woke I couldn't sleep again for ages due to the cold. So I use the term 'deep' very loosely...

A good, sticky morning to you too

This morning I woke up too early for Sean, and insisted on watching a bit of TV before getting up. I woke at around 7 and lasted until 9, which was when I asked him. Considering we weren't asleep until gone 1 this morning, he wasnt that impressed. I then went up and ran the water for a bath and whilst that was going I went back into the bedroom to see Sean. Who seemed rather pissed, to tell the truth. He was complaining that he couldn't sleep any more. I lay next to him, in such a way that let him rest his head on my boobs, and ran my fingers through his hair. I felt so-very maternal. Soon, though, my hand travelled down his chest to find his stiffening cock and couldn't resist touching it and caressing it. A quick look in at the bathroom let me turn off the running water and I could resume giving my man the attention he needed. I'm quickly starting to realise that no hard-on should go without being seen to. Why should I not see to him if we both get pleasure out of it? So, with his come sliding down my neck, I went to have my bath. Good morning, every one!

Sean's story, just for you

Dear readers, what follows is the beginning of Sean's story (link 1 2 3), just for you.

You are lying naked, cramped in a suspended cage. You've been there for a good 36 hours, and you still don't really know why you're there. You do know, or at least you think, it's for fun; you have your collar on.

Restraint UK (e-bay shop)

All around you are screens playing porn, everywhere you look are pictures and films of people having fun. The sound is on loud, so even when you sleep the porn is in your dreams. I've come to see you twice. Once to give you food, I didn't stay long and I sure didn't stay to chat. The other time I came in you were asleep. I used you for my pleasure, entering you and finishing quickly. By the time you were fully awake I was zipping up and leaving.

This time I enter the dungeon, you can tell by the look in my eyes that you are in for some fun. I open the cage and drag you out, you all but fall the distance to the floor. I blindfold you and walk you over to another area of the room. I stop you, and before words are said I bend you over our pommel horse and tie down all four of your limbs. I enter you roughly, giving you no time to prepare, and as I thrust deeper and deeper I comment that you are a dirty whore after all - who else would be wet after such treatment? You know that it's to do with the non-stop porn, but you don't comment. I thrust into you deeper, harder, rougher, faster and you can' t stop yourself from squirming and eventually coming. I grunt and pull out, hot come spurts over your back. Then I leave you.

You wonder what will happen next, you're still tied to the pommel horse ready to be taken. The porn is still on, you can hear it. Eventually you doze in a fitful, but well earned sleep.

You awaken to the sound of footsteps coming towards you. You know that I must be hungry for your pussy again. A cock pushes its way into you, and you quickly realise that it's not me. It's not Sean? This guys cock is shorter and he pushes it into you, taking you faster and faster and you realise he can go all the way into you like this without it hurting. Very quickly, you come. It must be too much for this stranger, he comes too and leaves you just like I did. You squirm, unsatisfied, with the stranger's juices dripping down your thigh...

Beacuse he's worth it

Last night I made Sean dinner. I guess this is nothing new, I've made Sean's dinner every night this week so far; but last night I tried out a few new things and cooked a proper dinner with roast potatoes. I made them for me really - I currently seem to live on pasta and I miss potatoes a lot. May I say that they were the yummiest potatoes I have had in ages. I hope Sean noticed my feelings of domestic-ness.

Yesterday we also paid a deposit on a student house for next (academic) year. This almost definitely means that we will be living together next year. A new experience I can't wait for.

Anyway, in all the excitement of today, my excitement rose. Even amidst my PMS (which is still around, damn coil, and has been around for over a week) I wanted to make my man happy. So when he came into the bedroom with his cock hanging out of his jeans, I couldn't help but look longingly at it. He must have sensed my wanting, "Do you want to give me head?" he asked. I nodded. He lay back on the bed, all relaxed and reclining and waiting for me. I sat at the foot of the bed, looking down, glancing at him. "Are you going to give me head?" he asked. I sheepishly looked at his cock, then at his face. "You want me to force you?" he asked. Aware I hadn't said anything yet, I looked at him feeling guilty. He lent forward and grabbed at my neck, pulled me to him and kissed me, tongue probing my mouth. Now, this is what I wanted, what I craved!

Within minutes I had been placed at his cock, and I took delight in glancing my tongue over it and around it, taking as much as I could into my mouth. I wanted him so bad. I was in such a position that I could steal glances at his face to watch his enjoyment of me. That's the first time I've managed to look up at him like that, whilst giving him head, without being uncomfortable. He opened his eyes from time to time, and if I could've I would have smiled back. Then within seconds of his looking into my eyes I would close mine and concentrate on what I was doing. I hoped he got a lovely feeling in his belly like I do when he looks at me when he's giving me head.

Soon, though, his lust for orgasm rose to overtake his shear enjoyment of the act and he started to quicken the pace. He greedily thrust into my mouth and several times I gagged, wondering if I could see it all the way through to his orgasm. His hands were in my hair, holding me in place and he thrust into me and I couldn't move my head either to help or hinder him. And then, suddenly, he's saying my name again (link), telling me not to stop, telling me he is going to come and oh-god-dont-stop-now-Mel... He came hard and drool and come slimed down my hands as he lay back to let me take the last few drops from him. His satisfaction is most definitely worth it.

It's good for the skin, darling...

Yesterday morning, I got the feeling that Sean was horny when he woke up. Maybe because he was hugging me rather tight, touching up my breasts and grinding his hard-on against my ass. Anyway, I was just about to offer my services, when he spoke first, "Can I fuck your boobies?" I grinned, looked at him. That's just what I was going to offer.

Once I knew this guy who wondered what the attraction of big breasts was. He asked in a forum, but told everyone not to mention "tit fucking" as he "didn't see the point". The point of it is that the guy still gets satisfaction in the early morning when girls don't want to taste come yet - its too strong a flavour for me at that time anyway.

So there he was, pumping away at my breasts. It always surprises me how much pleasure I get from it; lying beneath him, holding my breasts for him whilst he thrusts between them, hearing him moan and seeing the concentration across his face, slowly turning to pleasure. Seeing him stop to replace my boobs with his hands, watching him jerk himself off and finally seeing his come spurt across my flushed skin... Well, I guess it's actually more enjoyable than I gave it credit for. Who knew?

A yummy blowjob.

In a tipsy state, I climb on top of my master to give him pleasure. He lies on the bed, in the dark, and I cannot see his expression, but I can imagine his smile. He demands that my hair be untied, and I oblige. He gently encourages my movements, pressing lightly on my head or shoulders when he enjoys what I'm doing. I start at the top of his chest, slowly moving down when the mood takes me. I pay attention to his nipples and all the space in between; kissing, licking and sucking to my heart's content.

My master wants more. I slowly make my way to his tummy, but I'm quickly distracted by his hot hard cock that's lying rigidly over his belly. His hands grab at my hair as I try to ignore it's hot presence, he wants me to take his cock into my mouth. Not content with me just kissing the shaft, he directs my head so that my only choice is to take his hard member into my mouth.

I indulge him. I thrust his cock in and out of my mouth, each time letting him further and further in. I flick my tongue over the head in time with my movements, to keep him interested and to hear him moan. His breathing becomes deeper and more ragged. If I could, I would grin to show my enjoyment of him. He's lost in a world of pleasure, concentrating on building up to the explosion of orgasm.

Perfect.

I shift position a lot, finding it hard to take him so deep when lying on top of him. My right hand continues to work up and down his shaft, exciting the parts that I can't possibly fit into my mouth. My left hand gently probes behind his balls; sliding, gliding, stroking and paying attention to the parts he responds to. He squirms, groans, and thrusts into my mouth; ever more speeding up to reach that sought after release. I could carry on forever, I'm so happy to be down here, giving my master the pleasure I otherwise can't give him at the moment. I can taste salty juices escaping early from him, giving me a chance to see what he will taste like when the time comes.

"Mel, I'm going to come. Mel, Mel..." I positively beam with excitement and smugness as he says my name over and over. As he comes, he groans and I swallow down all his juices like a good girl, riding out his orgasm until we are both satisfied that he is finished. He pulls me up to him for a kiss and we both settle down to sleep. I lie in his arms, a smug smile on my face.

6 years on, and things are still going well

Nether of us believe we should give our money to card shops, especially now the nicer cards cost in the region of £3, that's if you look hard enough for a nice 'cheap' one. It's a total rip-off. So this year I made Sean a card for Valentine's Day. I spent a lot of time on it. The outside is quite girly (well, I'm a girl...) with pink and silver hearts all over the front. The inside holds a picture I drew of a girl, much like this one from Collar Purple (link, 24/08/05). Having looked at the post, Sean may think I copied that picture, I didn't. I found it afterwards when trying to find something similar (I have no means of getting the image onto my computer). My girl is naked though. She is drawn in pencil, in much the same position, and the only colour on her is from a long hard spanking session. I thought I'd be a bit inventive and make one of the marks into a heart. Sean was a bit surprised when he saw the picture, but he kept looking at it.

"Would you like a heart on your arse?" Sean asked. I can't remember what I said in reply, but that comment was the beginning of a spanking session. After putting me over his lap for a few hard swats from his hand, I was ordered to find my friend the wooden spoon (link 1, 2). I lay on my front as he continued to whack my bottom. As it reddened to a nice crimson glow (or so I'm told) he turned me over so I was laying on my back. We are still experimenting with spanking, it's a very new thing for both of us. I ended up with red marks all over my breasts, stomach and thighs as he experimented with different strokes and noted my reactions. The marks glowed a very nice, red, hot glow.

Sean soon gave into his lust and motioned for me to give him head. He told me I was to touch myself whilst doing so. It was awkward, but having his yummy cock in my mouth made up for that. I think I've still got a thing for his cock being in my mouth, and I'm going to be this way for a long while. He makes it so rewarding, with his gasps and groans, his squirming and thrusting his hips towards me. He soon decided he wanted something different though.

He pulled me up and told me to straddle him across the chest. What was he going to do? "I want you to touch yourself" he told me. I looked at him wide-eyed. It's been such a long time since I properly masturbated, and now he wanted me to do so while he watched from a few inches away? I think he saw my surprise, and he encouraged me using gentle words. I took a deep breath to relax and started rubbing my slit with a finger, moving to two when needed. I closed my eyes and lent my other hand and arm against the wall to steady myself as my movements became more energetic. I soon forgot that Sean was there and thought only of how I could reach climax quicker. It was highly enjoyable and once I was finished, I was fully satisfied and didn't mind at all what happened next. I opened my eyes, and was momentarily surprised to see Sean looking back at me. Oh yeah, he's the one who told me to this, it was his chest I was sitting on...

What happened next was mind-blowing and I was left in the deepest slumber I have ever been in. I don't remember the exact turn of events - I was drained from my self-induced orgasm. I think he encouraged me to mount him for a while (he's been encouraging me to do a lot recently!) and then he took me from behind. He told me to squeeze his arm every time I came. I don't know if he counted how many times his arm was squeezed, I certainly didn't. All I can say is that my total number of orgasms (including the first one) was almost certainly over 10. It was the most physically draining thing I've ever done, and I'm sorry that I don't remember it in much detail. I find if I try and think about what I'm doing and analyse and count things then I don't enjoy the whole experience so much.

I was left in a state of complete happiness and exhaustion. My legs spasmed. I looked over at my lover with complete adoration. I love him so much.

Oh, and while we're on the subject of love, it's also our 6th anniversary. Sean sheepishly asked me out over the internet 6 years ago, when we were 14. Wow, it seems like a lifetime ago...

The story of a very happy bunny.

My head hurts, my back aches, I have painful tummy cramps and I can't take any more painkillers for another three-quarters of an hour. Yet I'm the happiest I've been all day. I would say I'm the happiest I've been all week, but that would be lying as last night was a lot of fun (I'm in the process of writing a post about it).

Why all the happiness? I've just started my period. Okay, any other girl wouldn't see that as a cause of celebration, I know that. But this means my last cycle was 25 days. Okay, usually, also not a reason to have a party.

Ages ago I wrote a post with one sentence. It's here, and it's along the lines of "I've had FIVE days period free!" I said I'd give an explanation. Now I will. If it takes me 40 minutes then I can take my pain-killers and go to bed, so that's my target.

At the age of 16 me and Sean had an accident that resulted in my confiding in an older friend. She took me to see the lovely people at the family planning clinic and, after giving me the emergency pill, they put me on a course of contraceptive pills. My family history is such that I can't take the combined pill, so I was put on the mini pill. Three months down the line, everything seemed ok except that my periods had become light. I was reassured that this was a nice side effect for me to have - my periods always used to be heavy. La-de-dah. Life goes on, right?

Another three to six months go by. My periods, though nicely light, start becoming long. Up to 15 days long, to be precise. The lovely people change my pills. Six months down the line, same story. The lovely people decide that the mini-pill isn't for me. They decide my ass is ripe for injections. I carry on with the three-monthly injections for roughly a year and a half. Everything seems to be nice; periods still light, but no PMS to speak of and they didn't last for more than a week.

The problem is, though, my body seems to have a way of either correcting itself or wanting to piss me off. My periods become long again and by the 18th month of injections they are up to three weeks long. And because everyone should have a "28 day cycle" I was having one week out of four period free. That is, three weeks on, one week off. Three weeks on, one week off. etc.

Oh, did I mention that at this time my depression started kicking in big time? No? Well, my depression started kicking in, BIG TIME.

I go back to the nice people, all ready to give up the hormones, tell them to shove it and that I'm having my baby anyway thank-you-very-much. They say, okay, well, um, this is unusual. We haven't seen this before. Gee, lots of help. They decide that I should give the combined pill a go anyway, it'll regulate my periods for me. Don't worry about the family history (or your own, for that matter) we're just being cautious. Okay, I say. More fool me.

Combined pill goes in, blood pressure goes up. Okay, they say, maybe that isn't for you. I know, we'll double your dosage of the mini-pill, that'll sort out your problems. It doesn't. They up the dosage. Still no change. 4 pills a day, still my periods are nice and unusual. Hmm, okay, well, you really are unique. How old are you? 20. Hmm. Well, your too young to not have anything.

Too young? Lady, women my age in the 19th century and even early last century were already happily married with four children. Okay, four may be an exaggeration. I want my baby!!

You could try the coil? If you have a read of this leaflet and you like the idea, I'll have no problem getting you up on the bench right now and fitting you with one. You are young though... She tells me that it'll hurt, my periods will get heavy and painful... But on the upside it's non-hormonal and so my periods will self regulate like the good old days of four years ago. I take the leaflet and go home. I discuss about it with Sean. I search the internet for information. (Bad idea, more horror stories and misinformation than sound advice) and we finally decide this is the way to go.

I go back to the clinic. This is December '05. I get the coil fitted by the first man I've seen working there. That was embarrassing, but only until the pain took my mind off of it. Oh yes, it was painful - he had to clamp parts of my insides and measure things and finally put the (little) coil in. Ouch. And after, I had period cramps for the first time in three or four years. But, looking back, it was worth it.

So here I am, a very happy bunny who has had her first normal cycle in four years.

Did I mention that I still want a baby? Though now, to have one I have to get the coil ripped back out. The thought of which makes me cringe. So, for now, I'll settle for just practicing making babies.

Gentle doesn't always lead to rough

We stood on the corner outside my halls. Talking about plans for the future, dreaming about what we would do if we were rich, discussing Sean's programming skills... My lust for him growing and growing, trying to hide my disapointment when he made it obvious that he wasn't coming up to my flat for some loving. We stood there for quarter of an hour, in the cold dark, not wanting to say goodbye. Eventually Sean looks at his watch "Should have been in bed a while ago." I meekly smile, ready to say goodbye. "So, er, shall I come up to yours for sex?" he asks.

My sudden joy suprised me, it must have been obvious to him, as I grin and try to take his hand and walk towards the stairs to my flat. He informs me on the way "only one orgasm for you, then you tell me to come." he wants to be quick. I enquire if I can have a second if I come when he does. He thinks that's reasonable.

Upstairs we undress quicker than usual and suddenly he is down on me, tounging away. I wonder what definition of 'quick' he's working to, and I squirm as I try to hold off my orgasm - I want him to be in me when I come.

He moves back up my body and asks for a condom. As I find one my mind is filled with thoughts about our last time (link). It's been a week since, we are both lusting for eachother, it's going to be rough and it's going to hurt again. I don't want it to hurt, please don't let it hurt.

He lies ontop and enters; and there it is - it's hurting as he pushes in. This pain I'm used to though, it always hurts momentarilty when he enters for the first time in a while. Quickly, within a few thrusts, it goes away and I am filled with a huge love for him. I whisper "I've missed you so much" (or did I just think it?) and it's true. This feels so right, there's nothing more right in the whole wide world.

The feelings of deep love are soon overtaken by feelings of lust: I want more. I squirm and try to move my hips so they meet his in time with his thrusting. Something isn't right, something feels different. I look into his eyes and he smiles. I know what it is, he's keeping his thrusts shallow! I know I complained last time (link), but please thrust harder! Deeper! Whatever it is you're doing differently, stop it! He continues to smile. Like this, it feels like I'm never going to come. Just what is his definition of quick, anyway?

Eventually the tease becomes unbearable, my hands travel down his back and push on his ass. "More!" I gasp. He smiles, shakes his head. I take back everything I said about harder, deeper, rougher thrusts hurting! I want it! I need you to take me rougher! A small voice right in the back of my head tells me to just enjoy what he is giving me; it points out our musings over the fact that a few years ago I didn't need the rough play to come; it tells me that I asked for the gentle play and now I'm throwing it out like a baby throwing a toy out of the pram.

He soon comprimises, and changes position slightly to allow one of my legs over his shoulder. His thrusts feel more intense, hitting me just at the right place, and I quickly come. Being strongly tempted to disobey him and let him carry on until I orgasm again, I remember that I'm a good girl and I remember that his recent spankings have been very hard and stingy. Therefore, though being tempted to do otherwise, I tell him between gasps to come. My orgasm is building again but I keep my eyes open to see him. We come practically together, his face screwed up in just a way which conveys all of his pleasure.

I know I'm the only girl to have seen that expression on him, and that thought feels me with joy.

It's Mel's time to tell the story

Wow, so long a pause between posts; we both apologise.

We've both been off of sex recently, after our last escapade (link). We've both been sore, and that pain I felt last time worried me a little. I've felt it a few times before, but never that bad. It turns out that the cure (link) is to avoid deep penetration (which isn't likely) and for me to be more turned on before sex (we both rarely can hold on for that long) so the other option is to carry on as we were and have longer breaks between sexual encounters.

For a couple of days, all we did was kiss and cuddle in fornt of the tele. Sean was feeling ill and I wasn't feeling too well either. That changed on Tuesday. Tuesdays are cinema nights at our student union, so Sean came round mine for dinner before catching the bus to campus. He told me I could have head, but I must tell him a story. If you've been following our blog, you'll know that I enjoy Sean telling me stories when I go down on him (link). That night, it seemed, he wanted the same treatment.

The problem is I embarrass very easily. It's one thing to write about sexual encounters, but quite another to say them out loud. Especially if I'm making it up and someone else is there to listen. So I decided I could quite happily go without head so I didn't have to say anything out loud. Sean didn't buy that idea. He sat on my bed and told me to find the wooden spoon, ever since the last time it was used (link) it's been hiding in my room rather than in the kitchen. He told me to lie over his knee, I obeyed. A few thwacks from the spoon and I am as horny as a ... a very horny Mel. He asks again if I will tell him a story and I respond 'no'. The spoon hits me again. He asks again, I respond with a 'no', enjoying our play. He takes off my jeans. This time it'll be on my bare. This time it stung. "Still no?" he asks. I nod. "Right".

He pushed me off of his lap and found my beloved dog chains (link). These he somehow tied to the handy pipes running along the skirting board at the head of my bed (you may also remember the handy pipes running under my desk (link) - the room designers must have been tuned in to their students' needs...) My top was pushed up to expose my tender breasts and he asked me once again. I shake my head. He hits my nipples. Ouch. He moves down my to my thighs. "Still no?" I nod. I get more wacks with the spoon.

Eventually I'm so horny I realise I need the release of orgasm. He isn't going to give me one until I tell him a story. With prompting I start telling him about a girl waiting on the corner of the road for her boyfriend. As I describe her, I find out I can't even say the word 'nipple' out loud. This is stupid, this is the man I share everything with. I carry on, Sean is now giving me the pleasure I craved. I manage, to my relief, to orgasm before I have to go on to details I feel uncomfortable saying out loud. It's strange, I can write them down. I just can't say them.

Confidence issues are a nuisance

Sean says the last post (link) wasn't what he was expecting. He wanted details and I didn't give them. I will try harder in the future to produce more posts that are in the same style of my first post (link) Last night we had more of the girl-on-top sex like the last few days. Suddenly my confidence has increased a lot whilst I'm up there. I guess it's because I don't feel under pressure to perform any more.

Sean carried on the story he started a couple of weeks ago (link) as I was knelt on the floor giving him head. I took him nice and slow, and it seemed like he was enjoying it. Soon he dragged me up to the bed and on top of him. He entered me roughly and it took me a little while to get into the act. As before (link), I guess I shifted position quite a lot. I've never been too comfortable on top. Sometimes I wonder if it's to do with my self-confidence being rock bottom, and sometimes I wonder if its to do with him being well endowed. Last night I think the latter factor had more importance. Every time I felt myself close to coming, something changed and he'd be in me at the wrong angle and the feeling would be replaced with achy (verging on painful) feelings instead. That particular night those feelings turned me off enough to put me off of achieving orgasm. This happened a few times and for the first time in a long time I didn't orgasm once during sex. Many would argue that was due to me not being 'stimulated' before sex, but that hasn't really been an issue before. I think it was mainly due to the achy pains when he was at the wrong angle. Anyway, that isn't to say I didn't enjoy the act - far from it. When he came I still felt the fantastic knowledge that I had made him happy.

I was happily lying on his chest when he apologised for the act lasting only 10 minutes or so; but he thought 5 orgasms in 10 minutes was greedy even for me. I made the mistake of asking him what he meant and went on to tell him I hadn't come once, let alone 5 times. I don't really remember the order of our conversation after that. Sean completely broke down in front of my eyes. He said that he felt he was doing poorly in every aspect of his life - his uni work, his programming skills... and now to top it off he couldn't even tell whether I had orgasmed or not. He said he felt like a lousy lover and he couldn't make me come properly any more; that he has to resort to thrusting deeply into me, which he never used to have to do, and it felt like cheating. By that time I was crying too - my depressive feelings always lurking, ready to come out (eg: link) - and we had a good cry together for ages. Sean will probably tell me off for writing that, but its true and I don't want to make up lies in this blog.

As it happened, Sean was violently and repeatedly ill during the night (thank God that I have a sink in my bedroom!) and he's since said that he always gets depressed before he's sick. The thing is, what he said will stick with me now until I think that it has been corrected. I feel like I shouldn't have corrected him about my lack of orgasm. But I made a promise to him ages ago that I wouldn't ever fake orgasms. I never have. And I guess that promise extends to putting him straight if he's ever widely out, like last night (In truth, that's the first time he's been out, which was probably why it was such a shock to him).

The thing about him cheating to get me to orgasm struck a note though. I've noticed for ages that I've required rougher and rougher sex to get me there. It sort of does feel like cheating, and its a far cry from the gentle sex we indulged in when we first started having sex. I've been craving gentle sex for about a week or so, but fear that it will be boring and will end up a lot rougher and I'll end up sorer than I have been. When Sean asked last night what I wanted to do I said that I wanted "long, drawn out, gentle sex" which he translated to boring sex and told me to think of something else. I couldn't, which is why he carried on the story (above).

Perhaps we should now take a break from our explorations into S&M and go back to gentle sex... Just for a few nights... I'll tell all the details, I promise...

The joys of family life.

As we lay in bed last night, Sean commented that we haven't tried any new positions recently. I foolishly told him that I couldn't think of any more. I think he took that as a challenge, much to my delight. I wont go into detail about the various ways my arms and legs were twisted; let's just say I was on top again (link) and there weren't any chains or rope in sight. He held me with just his hands, arms and *grin* teeth.

I think I melted.

He told me to say if he was being too rough, and at some points there was a little voice in my head telling me he was. I paid it no attention. When he entered me it was rather painful, he was rough and I wasn't wet enough. After a few thrusts he asked if it hurt. I said yes. He responded with "good". All of a sudden I was enjoying the rough, dry feeling. And then it wasn't dry for much longer...

I was very mindful of the fact that my parents were sleeping just across the hall [the joys of visiting my family home - my young brother has just walked in "what you doing?" "erm..."] and I think I would have enjoyed the whole thing more if I could have made more noise, or at least had something to bite onto. I think we'll have to explore some more when we go back to halls tonight.

top/bottom sub/dom?

Sean commented after reading my last post (link) that I need to learn the difference between dom/sub and top/bottom and suggested that I go and have a read of the BDSM wiki (link). I haven't had a chance yet, what with the computer games we've been playing all day, but I will. I'm looking forward to learning a thing or two.

The assurance that he wasn't expecting to be dominated even though I was ontop gave me the confidence to try again last night and it was more of a success. This may have been, of course, because he started ontop and stayed there until I told him (between gasps) that I thought he wanted me ontop. He said he did, but in a bit. By the time I was up there I was enjoying everything so much I didn't worry about what to do. It was great.

Sean says I've worn him out. Which makes a change. Hopefully for the better.

The norm: revisited

So yesterday we met up with the friend Sean mentioned (link). She didn't wallop Sean, but she made her view perfectly clear: She's never known me to do anything submissively. I was quite surprised to hear that. Through-out my childhood I was always submitting to her, preferring to agree rather than argue my point across. Submissive tendencies show up in my whole life, not just towards Sean. I used to regularly submit to my parents (Sean calls it parent-worshiping) and I still find myself doing so. I will be quiet and submissively agree until I am sure they actually want to hear my point of view. I will often do what they want me to do so I can please them. The same happens often with my friends. Don't get me wrong; there are times I will try and stand up for what I believe, but I am usually the one that gives in.

The friend has a long-term boyfriend. We have, like many friends, discussed things of a sexual matter. She says she's the one who determines what will happen in bed. If she doesn't want sex, she'll curl up in bed and deny him it without giving any reason. If he tries to initiate activity, she'll just ignore him. I imagine trying to do that with Sean and I see myself completely failing. If I'm not in the mood, I at least tell him I'm not and I still cuddle up to him in bed. If he is in the mood, he'll coax me and usually he wins. Then after a few mind-blowing orgasms I'll wonder if I was sure that all I wanted that night was hugs.

Another thing she's mentioned is that she'll only let him do things if she's happy that the days chores are over. For example, if he hasn't done the dishes he doesn't get lucky in bed. As she's telling me these things I wonder how she can deny herself such pleasure, and why he doesn't just go ahead and take what he wants from her anyway. I guess that's the way it works in a normal relationship. I think I can safely say that I prefer the way our relationship works.

Besides, what would my friend have done if she woke up in the situation I did this morning (link)? "Oh no, darling, you haven't done today's chores yet"?

Morning glory

Last night was our second night at my family home in my lovely double bed. Older readers may not realise the significance of this fact, but let me assure you that sharing a double bed is a lot easier than sharing a single like we do at Sean's and at my halls. We try and make full use of the space, and last night was no exception.

Last night I think Sean was in the mood to be dominated. I find it hard to dominate him, every part of me worries that I'm not doing what he wants. Which is silly, right? Because the whole point of domination is that you do what you want. But what if what you want is to make the sub happy? We ended up starting in missionary with Sean squeezing my neck. I think from that point he was enjoying domination too much to swap places. Recently we've both had a thing for biting, and he quickly started to bite my neck and breasts. There was a point when he bit very hard on my flesh (I have bruise there now) . It was an odd sensation, as if this part of my skin was acting like my clitoris and I came as he bit harder and harder. I later commented that was weird, but I'm not sure he knew what part of the act I was referring to.

After my first orgasm, as always, the second and third were not very long after and he ended up taking me from behind, pushing my head hard into the mattress. It was uncomfortable, but so very arousing.

This morning I awoke to Sean's cock pushing its way into me. I sleep on my front, so it wasn't very hard for him to mount me. I remember being amazed that I was wet enough for him, and I hope he appreciated it. That is, assuming, he didn't touch me first. If he did touch me, why didn't I wake? Surely this must be a scary thought: I'm even easier when I'm asleep than when I'm awake. At least that means he can take me whenever he wants. Which is what I'm here for.

I'm so very lucky.

The norm

Last night I was talking to one of Mel's friends over the net and I refered to Mel as "the woman"... something that I have started doing recently as I know she likes it. Her friend said she should hit me for saying it, but Mel just smiled. So anyway we are going out today with said friend, and I am expecting a good whallop... I don't know why people have to get involved. If her friend just asked Mel if she liked it, Im sure Mel would have said "yes" and blushed, but no... It's not "the norm". So I am not allowed to be dominant in even the privacy (!) of an internet chat! How good is the charade if it only takes place between 8pm and 1 am I ask you? Not very, methinks.

Anyway, I had a great nights sleep last night. We went to bed and as soon as the lights were out, and I felt her naked flesh on mine... mmmmmm.... hehehe. It was fun. She came a good few times, then I came and she swallowed it all down like a good little girl. Then we cuddled and slept. We slept for nearly 11 hours! I love her double bed, it's so comfy!

Wish me luck with her friend!

Later,

Sean.