The norm: revisited

So yesterday we met up with the friend Sean mentioned (link). She didn't wallop Sean, but she made her view perfectly clear: She's never known me to do anything submissively. I was quite surprised to hear that. Through-out my childhood I was always submitting to her, preferring to agree rather than argue my point across. Submissive tendencies show up in my whole life, not just towards Sean. I used to regularly submit to my parents (Sean calls it parent-worshiping) and I still find myself doing so. I will be quiet and submissively agree until I am sure they actually want to hear my point of view. I will often do what they want me to do so I can please them. The same happens often with my friends. Don't get me wrong; there are times I will try and stand up for what I believe, but I am usually the one that gives in.

The friend has a long-term boyfriend. We have, like many friends, discussed things of a sexual matter. She says she's the one who determines what will happen in bed. If she doesn't want sex, she'll curl up in bed and deny him it without giving any reason. If he tries to initiate activity, she'll just ignore him. I imagine trying to do that with Sean and I see myself completely failing. If I'm not in the mood, I at least tell him I'm not and I still cuddle up to him in bed. If he is in the mood, he'll coax me and usually he wins. Then after a few mind-blowing orgasms I'll wonder if I was sure that all I wanted that night was hugs.

Another thing she's mentioned is that she'll only let him do things if she's happy that the days chores are over. For example, if he hasn't done the dishes he doesn't get lucky in bed. As she's telling me these things I wonder how she can deny herself such pleasure, and why he doesn't just go ahead and take what he wants from her anyway. I guess that's the way it works in a normal relationship. I think I can safely say that I prefer the way our relationship works.

Besides, what would my friend have done if she woke up in the situation I did this morning (link)? "Oh no, darling, you haven't done today's chores yet"?