Celebrations!

I'm afraid I'm not going to be around again for a few days, my Granddad's funeral is coming up. Also, I am moving house on the 4th of July, so this is a busy time indeed. It's probable that I will not have Internet access for the first two weeks of July, but don't fret as I will tell you more details when we know more.

In the meantime, I thought it'd be fun to combine the celebrations of this blog's 6 month anniversary and of our reaching 10,000 hits. Both of these events occured a few weeks ago, just after I posted a big thank-you to everyone, but I haven't had the time to sit down and do anything for it. So I'm going to do the celebrating now. I thought it'd be nice to put together a kind of link list of the highlights of our little blog. This has been mostly inspired by the search engine referrals we get on a day-to-day basis. I know of many bloggers who post a list of their recent search engine hits, and there's often a laugh to be gained from reading through such a list. I guess I'm now giving in and joining the masses to add my own list. Sit back and enjoy.

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The most referrals we get are for photos of women or men doing vaious acts. While we don't have any "penis to penis pics" or photos of "my clitoris", we do have the following "hnt" photos to satisfy your needs (oldest to newest). Yes, these even include photos of "mels breasts" and "my cleavage"... but not of "mels nipples"...

Mel's Boobs 1
Sean's Back
Sean and Mel
Sean's Chest
Mel's Boobs 2
Mel Hogtied
Mel's Spanked Bottom
Mel Hard At Work
Mel's Feet

The next biggest proportion of referrals we recieve are for "fiction sex blogs" and "sex stories". Fiction we have a-plenty!

J hears about my revelation
Sean's story, just for you
People watching
Sean luvs goths: Part 1
Sean luvs goths: Part 2
Sean luvs goths: Part 3
Sean luvs goths: Part 4
Sean luvs goths: Part 5
Elebration time
Last night's fun
What if?

And for those who like real life ("i begged him to", "entered me from behind", "i let him touch my bare boobs") we have plenty of that too.

I am a lucky girl
A yummy blowjob
Gentle doesn't always lead to rough
Don't you dare scream...
Fun in the shower

Some want to read about "spanking", "spanked", "spanking bottoms" and even the specific "domestic discipline naked "over his knee" spoon". That's fine by me!

Homework
Oooops
Our scene the other night

Others want to read about "anal sex", "first time anal" and "rim jobs". I dont think I've ever written about our anal sex explorations, that's something I'm going to have to write about one day. My view on rim jobs can be found within this meme.

Some seem keen on "foot fetish" and "feet teen". If you read my last HNT post, you'd know all about my dislike of feet. For you foot fans, that's the only foot post around here. Sorry.

Some searched for "kaotians"; the only post I recall writing about this way of life is this one, a throw-away post I wrote when the lifestyle hit UK news.

Other things people have asked Unka Google for include "kneeling blindfolded blowjob", "give me head under the desk", "kneel under the desk", "under her desk", "he told me to kneel" ... it seems you guys like a girly to kneel under her desk to give blowjobs, or more...

She's giving me head. No, I mean it. Now...
My first time under the desk


For those dirty pervs who want to hear of "fingering her while she sleeping" and "she always ready", we have the following posts:

Always ready
Morning glory

Interested in "role reversal"?

Role reversal
Role reversal #2

Quite a few have searched for "breath play", and it's cousins "breth play" and "beath play". I've written about it once: Breath play isnt's that bad, is it?

Moving away from the sex, we also get a few worried women passing through. I hope I've been of some help with your "Mittleschmitz", "painful uterus cramping" and the questions of "can mittelschmitz happen right after ovulation" and "no mittelschmitz did i ovulate".

Ever heard of mittelschmitz? and it's two follow up posts about the doctors #one and #two are my musings of this little known medical problem.


Well that's about it. Here's some other search terms I'm not so sure about.

perv wanking frilly little girls
men's nailpolish fetish
pvc spanking thunderstorm
mistress Orchid phone sex - Hmm... is our lovely Orchid making some money on the side?
"darling its smacked bottom time" - One I would have loved to use as a post title, though I feel that I can't now as I didn't think of it.

Sean's bored. I think this list has been a labour of love, it's taken well over two hours to write. Good night.

Technorati Tags: moving house, search engine hits

Foot fetishes...

There's just one part of the human body that consistantly turns me off. Feet. I don't really know why. I guess maybe because I have the idea that mine are ugly and sweaty and... ickky (stuck for words, can you tell?). My feet are short and fat and shaped like wedges. I don't know about America, but in England we have a width fitting as well as a length fitting for feet. Mine are a size 4.5 H. Let me explain that. A size 4.5 is roughly an American 5.5 and a European 38. That's pretty short, and usually someone with short feet would also have nice, slender, slim feet. Oh no, not mine. That H is a width fitting. In England, an average width fitting for a shoe is a size E. Mine are the *wrong side* of H. There is no I, H is as far as they normally go. So that's four sizes out from the usual width. Yes, my feet are fat. I can never fit into fashionable shoes, and for most of my teen years I lived in Doc Martens. I have one or two pairs of summer shoes I wear year upon year, as my feet haven't grown since I was 12 and the shoes are nicely worn in and don't blister my feet.

A couple of days ago I went on the bus and ended up sitting opposite a bloke who kept looking at my feet. I was wearing a pair of sandals I've owned for six years. Every time I glanced his way, his eyes were on my feet. Being a now seasoned sex-blogger, I started to wonder if he was one of these weird types who has a foot fetish. I mean, of course, your kink is okay... but feet? Eww. I couldn't imagine being an adoring foot worshipper *shudder*. As I was thinking this through, I was wondering what was so special about my feet that he couldn't tear his eyes away. Are they really that wonderful? Each time I glanced at him, he caught my eye and seemed rather flustered, so I guessed that he really was looking at my feet rather than that just happening to be the direction he was facing while being 'zoned out' on the bus.

It wasn't until after getting off the bus that I purposefully looked down at my feet to see what the fuss is about. And this is the sight that greated me.*

Yes, there are only four toes showing. He must've thought I was an eight toed freak rather than thinking that my feet are beautiful *sigh*. For those who like feet, I have included a side view too. Do you like my feet?*

*Images removed

Technorati Tags: feet, fetish, foot, HNT, photo

More musings

I need to give an apology, of sorts. I sat down yesterday to finally start writing the story I've been planning and ended up with about four sentences. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, as I've been steering clear of even reading erotica for the last couple of weeks. I've found I've been reading more and more of Figleaf and Avatar, who are adult bloggers but they both almost make a point of not writing down their own experiences. Sometimes you do need to take a break from erotica, afterall, whether sensual or smutty. Which sort of brings me on to the main subject of this post...

A week ago, or so, I made a comment that I wasn't feeling good about even "thinking about the possibility of initiating vanilla sex". I've gotten over that guilt now, and Sean and I have managed to carry on enjoying carnal pleasures. We've even had a couple of easygoing scenes over the last few days. A return to normality has been successful, and I definitely owe it all to Sean.

We're at a huge turning point in our relationship. Foremost, we are moving in together in less than two weeks. This is a massive step for us. Not even a year ago, we were living in separate towns. Four years ago we lived 60 miles away from each other and the time we were together was very precious for us. We've grown rather complacent with each other over the last nine months, when we've been living just around the corner from each other. In two weeks, we will be living in the same house. I am very excited and very apprehensive at the same time. We thought (Okay, my mum kept telling me...) that going to Uni together would be a big "test" for us, but surely living together is the ultimate "test"? I have every faith that it'll work out okay. Sean's already declared we have to *ahem* 'christen' each room over the summer. That includes our housemates' room. That'll be fun.

Less importantly, Sean suggested a couple of days ago that he take care of my finances for me. My immediate reaction was to disagree. I was very surprised with myself when I realised my reaction for what it was, and it took me until today to come to terms with 'giving up control', something I thought came naturally to me. Apparently, it only comes naturally to me when it's connected to sex. Having Sean help me sort my finances out would be a great thing for him to do, otherwise I may end up in trouble by the end of the summer period.
The summer period poses a problem, finance-wise; as I will owe a total of £800 in rent plus the remainder of the house deposit, food shopping and bills, with no more loan payments until October. It's going to be hard, though I have been accepted as a emplyee of a temping agency now so I should have an income over the summer. Sean is very good with money. He'll help sort me out.

This brings me on to a point I wish to make, though I fear I will probably stuff it up and won't convey exactly what I want to say. I think someone I've read recently has made the point that there are a vast volume of lifestyle blogs out there who only talk about the sex side of their relationship. Sure, this blog has been one of them until recently. Most don't convey the other sides of their D/s, DD, M/s (whatever term you choose) relationship. I'd just like to say that, especially over the last few weeks, our D/s relationship has crept out of the bedroom and has enabled Sean to care for me when he needed to. As a Dom (Master? We haven't really discussed it...) he's been able to let me give up my facade of control and it has enabled him to care for me. Ooops, I already said that. Truth is, that's what it has really done. There's most definitely more than just the sex side to a BDSM relationship. I think that the kink side has enabled us to talk openly to one another, and so this openness has translated to other sides of our relationship too. I hope this makes sense. I plan to muse over this further. For now, good night. xxx

Technorati Tags: D/s, history, moving house

Thankyou

This is a post to say "Thankyou"

Thankyou, my readers, for putting up with my non-sex blogging and my recent musings.

Thankyou, my commenters, for showing your sympathy and offering your support.

Thankyou, to those who have recently e-mailed me, for offering your condolances and for offering an ear to listen; for bringing a smile to my face.

Thankyou, my flatmates, for understanding my absences and not moaning about my three-week old washing up (I will get round to it, I promise).

Thankyou, my family, for your understanding, for your shoulders to cry on, for letting me try to live as normal and come back to halls.

But most importantly, thankyou Sean, for being there throughout everything. Thankyou for not dwelling on things, but also for letting me cry when I need to. Thankyou for distracting me and talking to me. Thankyou for being quiet when you needed to be, and for offering a firm hand when I craved it.

Thankyou, everyone, for being there for me when I needed it most.

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I guess, as you may have been following my story for the last couple of weeks, I should let you know that my granddad has now passed away. It was in his sleep, and he was pumped full of morphine at the time, so he wasn't in any pain. That's as much detail as I wish to go into. I'll be back on Wednesday with the first installment of the story I've been promising...

Technorati Tags: thanks, thankyou

Where does sadist end and comforter begin?

I don't really want to go into details about what has happened since Friday. Let's just say my Grandad was given three days to live on Friday, and he is still alive and in the same state today as he was then. I guess I should say that it is very unlikely that he will pull through.

What I wanted to muse over was the question of what happens to Master-slave relationships during times such as these. Does the whole thing just stop? It basically has between Sean and I. The kink side, at least, has ceased. Sean is still very much there for me, and has been helping me to function properly. We stayed up all Sunday night just so I was eventually tired enough to sleep, and the night before he let me get very, very drunk with my family. I don't remember going to sleep that night, I woke up in the morning and was completely surprised to find my clothes lying in a heap on the other side of the bedroom. The night before that, Friday night, he stayed awake with me as I cried myself to sleep. There are times when you do need to cry, after all. For all of this I cannot thank him enough. So, I guess, that side of our relationship is very much alive. There is more than one dimension to a Master-slave relationship after all, isn't there? As well as the kinky sex side, there's also a caring side.

I can't help wondering if there are Masters out there who wouldn't let the kink side cease. Are there Masters out there who would incorporate the idea of a dying relative into their scenes to instill guilt, self-loathing and hatred into their submissives? I have a feeling that MasterABD is one such Master:

Because like most real sadists, for me its not about inflicting pain. Its about the look a girl gets in her eyes. Its a look that no massochistic will ever understand. Its a look most will never understand.

There is a look of utter disgust and humilation. There is a look of pain, but not always physical pain, there is a look that just screams out “Oh god I can’t believe this is happening please god make it stop”, there is fear, and there is a truly torted look.

After very quietly and very privately wondering if it would be possible to one day meet and play with this man, I am now rather scared of him. This is something he has picked up on before too - "if you are afraid of a Dom like me, GOOD!" - and I guess it's a good thing that he at least realises he scares people with his frank writing. That's what the blogosphere is there for though.

Please, if you're reading this and you would carry on the kink during times such as these, leave a comment. I personally would kick Sean out of bed (or where ever), and keep him out for as long a time as I could, if he ever tried something like that. This is something that steps over my blurred boundaries. I currently feel guilty for just thinking about the possibility of initiating vanilla sex tonight.

Edit @ 23:36 13/06/06: Hmmm. After reading the anon comment, and having Sean agree with him, I guess I should add here that the words "instill guilt, self-loathing and hatred" were perhaps not the words I was looking for. More, I was referring to the Master using those ideas to set the scene, so to speak. There are Masters out there who like to 'instill fear', perhaps to get that look in the submissive's eye that MasterABD referred to. However, most of them (I guess) like to Mind Fuck with their submissives. That was what I was trying to get at, though I couldn't find the right words.

Update @ 22:56 14/06/06: It seems that I perhaps still didn't explain myself fully. Such is the world of the Internet, where the written word can have more than one meaning. I've just read MasterABD's post, which is in reply to this one. I've posted a comment that I hope explains further, and so here it is on this site too:

Deary me. I’m very sorry if I caused offence to you by my last post; believe me that is the last thing I wanted, especially after all the shit you’ve had these last few weeks. I was trying to refer more to just the confines of a scene and the “mind fuck” games I imagine you’d indulge in if given half the chance. There’s a hell of a lot of companionship, guidance and support that a Master would [should] offer in times of distress; I know a Master-slave relationship isn’t based solely on kinky sex but I guess this didn’t come out in my post. There is indeed a time and place for everything, and I didn’t state the time for the scene I referred to to take place. If it happened, it’d of course take place well after the distressing event, or at least after the grief or healing process has no chance of being affected. Until such a time occurs; the kink does take a back seat, as often even vanilla sex does too. Once again, I honestly didn’t mean to offend. I hope through this comment I have somewhat explained myself.

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Visiting through BlogStormz? See my most recent posts.

Technorati Tags: master, MasterABD, sadism, sadist

Something to cheer us up: Sugasm #36

This past week has been like a whirlwind. Thankyou all for your support. I'll be giving you updates sometime tonight. For now, enjoy the pick of the week from Sugasm.

Announcements

Get Asia Argento’s Panties (sugarbank.com)
For The Girls Launches Erotic Fiction Competition (msnaughty.com)
Win the Cheese (nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com)
Black Ball 14 giugno 2006 (deboratravslave.erosblog.it)

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Time of the Month (edinerotica.blogspot.com)
To Caitlin’s Tits, and Well Beyond (totalsensuality.blogspot.com)
A Fantasy Story, by Me (dontwakethekids.blogspot.com)
Thigh Highs, No Panties and Red Wine (wetbeyondbelief.blogspot.com)
Look Through Any Window - Part Five (theholidaylife.blogspot.com)
I Want… (easilyaroused.co.uk)
The Best Sex I Ever Had (dawnndirty.blogspot.com)
Fiction: Compromise (erotiterrorist.blogspot.com)
Temptation (pleasinglydebauched.blogspot.com)
Nightdreaming (gentlygently.blogspot.com)
Coming Upside Down (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com)
Waking Sleeping Beauty (aliferestarted.blogspot.com)
Naughty Night with Stiletto Girl and K (darkside-journey.blogspot.com)
Assignation (talktovanessa.com)
Watch Him (by Super Secret Guest Author) (domequeen.blogspot.com)
Last Night’s Fun (seanandmel.blogspot.com)
Bubbly in a New Vessel (teasingtaunting.blogspot.com)

NSFW Pics

G’Day Mate check out the I Shot Myself Video (eroticandy.blogspot.com)
Earth Goddess HNT (spiritsex.blogspot.com)
Carli Banks in a Bikini (babelog.sestaluna.com)
The Return of Cumisha Jones (ethnorotica.com)
HNT #2 (avahsascent.blogspot.com)
Shaving and Silliness - Video Blog Entry (seska4lovers.com)
Eve Lawrence (internetisforporn.com)
Corinna of FEMJOY - 3 Galleries (sensualarousalblog.com)
Nadia on Abby Winters (iloveabbywinters.com)
Teen Lesbians Bathe on Sapphic Erotica (simply-sapphicerotica.com)

Thoughts on Sex

Sex is a Figment of My Imagination (anawtymouz.blogspot.com)
Rainbow Pride (shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)
The Word of the Day is “Glissade” (realadultsex.com)
Quotes - Bad Girls (seskuality.com)
Meat and Veg (gentlebutfirm.blogspot.com)
Wrong Place, Wrong Time (wanklog.blogspot.com)
Prostitutes and Porn Stars (hotcouple.co.uk)
Taking a Moment for Masturbation (taratainton.com)
How Women Masturbate (onaniajournal.blogspot.com)
Why Do We Go Back To The Women We Know Are _______? (vagueboy.com)

Sex Work

Warning: Not for the Squeamish… My Worst Sex Worker Moment to Date (lipstickexplosion.com)
Fine Dining (radicalvixen.com)
Making of “Lessons in Latin” (adelehaze.com)
Phone Sex and Small Talk (lustinghearts.com/phonesexblog)
Stocking Fetish Phone Sex (sabrinainstockings.com)

Sex Advice and Sexy Reviews

How to Throw a Killer Bachelor Party (4thegirlnextdoor.blogspot.com)
Art of Fingering (creamonpants.com)
Natural Contours - Liberte (sin.typepad.com/shauna_by_night)

BDSM and Fetish

Whip Me, Beat Me, Slap Me – Just Don’t Judge Me (cuntinglinguist.blogspot.com)
Anticipation (The Denouemet) (redvelvetropeburn.blogspot.com)
Silent Night (masterenigma.blogspot.com)
I’m a Horny Little Slut (everythingoze.blogspot.com)
Cucumber Fucker (spoiledebonyprincess.com)
New Anklets (photos) (silvercatspanties.blogspot.com)
In His Arms (thenewden.blogspot.com)
Foot Fetish Boyz (caramelvixen.com/sticky_blog)
Mistress Xena in Purple Boots (Video) (thebootcam.com)
Gaining Trust Through a BDSM Blog or BDSM Journal (alternativealbany.com/bdsm)
Lost in the Moment (jetshanger.blogspot.com)
Marxist Spanking (spankingwriters.com)

More Sugasm…
Join the Sugasm

Technorati Tags: sugasm

Just a note

There's been a lot of morbid discussions in the Blogosphere lately. Os has picked up on it in a post from Views from the Back Row. Mortality does indeed suck, and I now have my own bit of bad news to add.

I finished my last exam at half past four yesterday afternoon. At quarter to five I was talking to my mother on the phone and by seven Sean and I had been ferried to the hospital back in my home city and I was looking at my dying grandfather. It was a true whirlwind yesterday. Sean is here comforting me, and I don't know what I'd do without him. My family agreed not to tell me about my grandad until after my last exam, and I am very grateful that they decided upon that course of action.

This is just a note to say that I probably won't be posting for a while. I'm going back to see him today; yesterday was such a shock to the system that I didn't really know what to do at the hospital. We've been told he has around 3 days left. It's been so sudden. I'll keep you all somewhat informed, but please do understand if this blog doesn't see much action in the coming weeks.

Regards,
Mel xxx

Technorati Tags: mortality

Biology is fun!

Here I am revising for my last exam**. Most of those text books are mine rather than the library's. If you have a closer look you'll see they're all to do with human biology or organic chemistry. Fun, fun, fun! My last exam is tomorrow and I'm dreading sitting in the blistering exam hall. I know I'm being oh-so-British when I say it, but it's just too damned hot! I know, I know, why complain? The weather's lovely! Well, the truth is it ISN'T lovely. It's hot and humid and sticky - it's 100% humidity here - and we both feel like doing nothing. Which isn't good 'cos I really do need to revise. I even had a sleep this afternoon without meaning to.

Anyway, you're here for the sex, right? I've had a hard time of it lately trying to convince Sean he wants to have sex whilst it's so humid. Last night, though, he stayed round and we had some fun. He stayed the night, and I don't think he's going to again because of the humidity. It was no bed clothes and no sheets all round, though this morning I woke up with the sheets pulled up round my chin. I think it's some kind of security thing.

On a completely different subject, one that I've be meaning to get around to... MasterABD wrote a post some time ago about youth in the BDSM lifestyle. As a younger 'lifestyler' himself, he makes a few valid points about being under the age of 30 and starting out in the lifestyle. Particularly; he states that many older people either expect younger kinksters to 'prove themselves' to gain respect, not "be involved" but just 'experiment', or us youngins are just out-right ignored. Whilst I can see where he's coming from, I also beg to differ*. Through writing this blog (which celebrates its 6 month birthday tomorrow, btw), we have met a whole host of new friends, all of whom are at least 5 (most 10) years older than us. Orchid & Spadix, Alex & Suze, Padme and MasterABD himself are people I now 'stalk' on a daily basis. And whist all of you I have just mentioned are married (or have been married) and are over 5 years older than us (I'm not rubbing it in, I promise), I get just as much respect from you guys as I do from friends my own age. And for that I want to thank you all (and those I haven't mentioned) and also for being so welcoming to us. It's great to recieve so much positive feedback from our readers and to make new friendships along the way.

* Most of MasterABD's post deals with offline issues, such as a lack of respect at conventions. We haven't ever been to one so I cannot really comment on that side of the post. Really, at the end of the day, there is a small voice inside that says "We're too young for this" and until that voice goes, we won't be going to a convention any time soon.

** Image removed

Technorati Tags: HNT, MasterABDphoto, uni, youth

Another meme.

Yesterday I had a lot of trouble with revising because of... well, several reasons. It was hot, I was horny, I was failing at the subject (Organic Chemistry = fun! I had the exam today and it didn't go too well.) the list goes on... I eventually texted Sean to ask if he was at home, and when I didn't get a reply I texted J instead. I have so many messages from him now, it looks like something is 'going on' between J and I (I wish...). He replied and told me that Sean's coming round in 10. I felt that maybe I'd pulled him away from his mates, and told J as much. Sean assures me that I'm just paranoid when it comes to things like that. So, anyway, Sean came round and after a couple of hours decides that my horniness can be seen to. Ooo yummy! I have tingles now just thinking about it. He sent me to the bed, pushed up my skirt, pulled down my candy coloured panties and lent over me and fucked me with his fingers whilst snogging my face off. Hehehe, the language I've just used has got me giggling, but it's the most appropriate to how things went. It was fun and satisfying.

I have another meme for you. It's the last one for a while, I promise! I thought I'd better keep updating this blog through my exams so you guys have something to read instead of the same old post. I now have a story idea, and I can see it unfolding in my head. I'm going to post a segment on each Wednesday to combat the mid-week blues during the summer until it's finished. It starts next Wednesday (14/06/06) and you have my assurances that it'll be hot!

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1. My ex is: In the distant past. I don't think I've ever written about him, and I don't need to. I don't know where he lives now, what he's doing, or even if he's in good health.

2. I am listening to: Reel Big Fish's cover of Take on Me. They're the only band I've seen live.

3. Maybe I should: be revising. One more exam to go, on Friday. It's about genetics, my favourite subject, so I feel positive about it.

4. I love: Sean and my two younger brothers.

5. My best friend: Sean and Sally.

6. I don't understand: Quantum physics - I had a course on it last semester and barely passed. Thank god I don't need to do any more physics or chemistry in my course!

7. I lose: everything in my room. It's a total pigsty and after Friday it's getting cleaned and packed away ready to move house.

8. People say: anything to make them sound intelligent just before an exam. I listen to my friends doing last minute oral tests of each other and I don't understand half of what they're on about, even though I'm about to sit the same exam as them. It causes too much worry in those last 10 minutes.

9. The meaning of my screen name is: it's my name.

10. Love is: the best thing in the world when you have it, and the thing I used to envy in others when I didn't have it.

11. Somewhere, someone is: marking my awful exam paper from this morning.

12. I will always: have an untidy room, I think my ass is going to be spanked a lot when Sean and I move in together; he hates my mess.

13. Forever seems: like a huge commitment, but one I'm glad to make to Sean.

14. I never want to: become famous. I would hate the attention. Have you seen the "celebrity news" in women's mags? It's all about pointing out the poor celb's spots or wonky teeth. Something I don't think I could cope with.

15. My cell phone is: Pink! Yeah! It was the first pink model to come out in my town.

16. When I wake in the morning: I sometimes dread the day ahead. I sometimes fall back asleep and if Sean is with me than I am most relaxed.

17. I get annoyed when: Something didn't happen the way I was expecting it to.

18. Parties are: An opportunity to drink and relax.

19. My dog is: non-existent. I do not like dogs in the slightest.

20. Kisses are the worst when: he's been eating banana. I can smell it on him! *shudders*

21. Today I: woke up at 5:30am. Lay in bed till 7. Had an orange for breakfast outside the exam hall and then sat the exam. Who knew organic chemistry would be all about drawing out mechanisms? I didn't.

22. Tonight I will: be revising for my final exam. What an interesting, exciting life we students live! My mate thinks there'll be a thunderstorm tonight, so you'll know what I'll be up to if there is...

23. Tomorrow I will be: doing some more revising, wishing that the day would just hurry up and finish so I can start my summer holidays already.

24. I really want: an icecream.

Technorati Tags: meme

Shamelessly brief

Another shameless brief post for you, dear readers. It should add to the last meme I did and give you even more of an insight into who I am and our relationship history. I'm currently spinning the beginnings of new stories in my head, but I haven't thought of one that stands out yet. I'm sure I'll tell you when I think of one and when my exams are over - I had one this morning and now I know that most of the learning and research I did for that module was for nothing. The exam tested me on the one bit of the module I didn't know so well and I totally sucked. Not in the good way either. So I'm doing this to cheer me up before my job interview this afternoon. Stolen from Padme, of Journey to the Darkside

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Accent: Can I say "Southern England" without the Americans thinking cockney?
Booze: vodka or peach schnapps with lemonade. (50p at the dungeon!)
Chore I Hate: any kind of cleaning. Also, does homework count?
Dogs/Cats: The family have a cat. Apparently she misses me now I've moved to halls.
Essential Electronics: PC & MP3 player
Favorite Perfume/Cologne: I like J'adore by Christian Dior, and also Clinque's Happy Heart
Gold/Silver: Silver.
Insomnia: Had it from the age of 12 through to my GCSEs. It comes and goes, depending upon if it's exam time or not. (For example, last night I didn't sleep until 12:30am and woke up at 5am. Great.)
Job Title: Is "student" a job title? If it is, then I want to know where to get the pay check.
Kids: yes please. But no, I don't have any
Living Arrangements: I share a flat with 6 others in student halls. Next month I am moving in with Sean.
Most Admired Trait: I have often been told I'm a good listener.
Number of Sexual Partners: Just one.
Overnight Hospital Stays: None, and I fear the day that I'll have to go to hospital
Phobia: Cows. Dogs. Flying insects. And, recently, spiders.
Quote: "Yes. I think you have rabies too." From a sponsoring ad of House. With glove puppets. That's why today's image is a Spontex glove. If you've seen the ads, you know what I'm on about.
Religion: I share beliefs with both Christians and Pagans. I'm trying desperately to resolve this.
Siblings: 2, both younger brothers.
Time I usually wake up: Apparently, anytime between 5am and 9am.
Unusual talents: Hmm... I've been pondering this one for five minutes already and I can't think of one. An unusual talent for feeling deeply pessimistic around exams? Does that count?
Vegetable I refuse to eat: Cooked mushrooms. Ick. Tomatoes, though they don't count (I suppose)
Worst Habit: I'm a die-hard thumb sucker. And I guess pessimism is a habit too, right?
X-Rays: I had one of my thumb when I was a kid and squashed it in one of those huge doors at the shopping malls. The nurse drew a cat on the plaster, and I forever asked my mum to draw pictures on my plasters from then on.
Yummy Foods I Make: Chocolate brownies. Roast potatoes.
Zodiac Sign: Virgo.


Well, that's it. *looks above* Hmm. I wonder what happened to H?

Technorati Tags: meme

Breath play isn't that bad, is it?

When I surf the Internet, mainly browsing through blogs, I come across the odd piece of writing that invokes feirce emotion from the readers. I could sit here and discuss my Pro-Choice beliefs or my dislike of feminists and I'd get a lot of comments showing the readers' emotions - either supportive or abusive - but this isn't the place to do that. A topic I can tackle is breath play. Again, if a blogger writes positivly about breath play they are probably going to recieve a lot of negative feedback. Infact, by having it in the title of this post I have probably put some kind of label on this blog saying "I like something you feel uncomfortable about, give me negative comments."

Let's take a step backwards a moment and discuss the actual act of breath play. The act of restricting your partner's breathing, either by using your hands or by using things like rope or telephone cords, during sexual intercourse is classed as breath play. It's also known as breath control play, erotic asphyxiation or scarfing. If you enjoy having your breathing restricted you could be classed as an asphyxiophiliac. I have been an asphyxiophiliac for as long as I can remember, though I have only recently found out the term.

Breath play is often put into the category of edge play. This is because it veers into the unsafe and can break the SSC code, a creed that most BDSM practitioners live by. This code states that a scene should be

• safe: attempts should be made to identify and prevent risks to health
• sane: activities should be undertaken in a sane and sensible cast of mind
• consensual: all activities should involve the full informed consent of all parties involved

and the act of breath play can push the limits of being safe; because, carried out wrongly, breath play can result in brain damage or even death. Yes, it's scary stuff.

But Sean and I like it.

Let me amend that. I like it.

Yesterday I was still in a horny, masochistic mood and I desperately wanted Sean to control me and cause pain during our love making. That is why I ended up suggesting to him that he spank me again, even though I've been good these last few days. He indulged me and I was treated to a thorough spanking. This, of course, caused us both to be hornier still and we ended up having sex in the coolest position we could (the summer's finally here in England), which happened to be a favourite, doggy style. As things progressed, Sean's arm crept round my neck from behind. I don't know why he orginally placed his arm there, I think it was for support, but within moments I was pressing on his forearm, pushing it closer to my neck until my breathing was finally restricted. Everything was perfect, my orgasm was strong (I saw the lights again, but also my vision started to grey out) and Sean seemed to enjoy himself too. We lay about afterwards, resting for a bit and then went to the cinema. I had a mild headache, but didn't attribute much to it as I thought it was induced by the hot summer temperatures (21 degrees C / 69 degrees F. I don't know how people in even hotter places cope with it...).

Infact, everything was perfect, I'd finally gotten out of the horny mood (I've been constantly horny for three or four days) and I slept well last night. However, when I looked at my reflection in the mirror this morning there was something new; a rash had formed all over my neck and around my eyelids. What was going on? That's when I remembered our scene yesterday. Surely this wasn't caused by anything we did? Ah, but it was.

I'm a biologist, so I could bore you with the details of what happened. I'm just going to gloss over them for now: There was a local high blood pressure in my head caused by the heat and my orgasms, which further increased when Sean squeeed my neck. This caused lots of blood capillaries to burst and the escaped blood created the rashes you see before you. Why around my eyes? There's high blood pressure there anyway. Science lesson over. The photo of my neck doesn't really do it justice. It looks almost like razor burn (something a girlie shouldn't have on her face!), and runs all over and around my jawline.

This rash isn't good, for two reasons. 1) Sean feels nervous about breath play anyway because he doesn't trust his own strength, now I have a rash he's even less likely to indulge me in it in the future. Also, I've been put off slightly for a while. 2) I have a job interview tomorrow. I'll have to cover it all up with make-up (something I don't usually wear) and with the heat I can't garentee that it wont run. Wish me luck with that, I need it.

So, yes, I can see why a lot of people may be against acts of breath play. I also understand those who don't like it because it relates to suicide. But that doesn't mean that I can't enjoy it. Do you remember the other creed most BDSM practitioners live by? It's an acronym: YKIOK,IJNMK.

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Technorati Tags: breath play, edge play, kink, photo, rash, SSC

Our scene the other night

Heh, well I said I'd write "tomorrow morning", and I've left to it the day after tomorrow, so I'd better get a move on! I've been revamping our link list, taking down links that are no longer active and I've added a new section "Women's Health Resources" (see right side menus). I guess as I write about my "women's problems" we come up quite high in Google's page ranks for painful PMS and such, so I get quite a few hits from people searching for these things. I guess this blog isn't really what they were looking for, so I've put in the "women's health resources" list for them, and for people who do read me and wonder what I'm on about/want to know more.

Anyway, on to the scene.

I think it started when I came out of the shower and sat on my bed as I was drying myself and Sean was browsing a blog that's recently linked to us. Padme's writings there gave him the idea of orgasm denial as a punishment. So he came over to the bed to tell me, and to start the build up to the scene we had both been looking forward to. As we lay caressing each other, he directing my searching mouth to his chest to tease his nipples, he told me that I have been bad the last few days, but he was going to forgive me because of it being exam time; things get stressful around exams. He included that a couple of the bad things were my being rude to him and my not doing as he told me. I looked up at him.
"Sir?"
"Yes?"
"This girl has something bad to tell you." I told him, in quiet tones.
He looked down at me, "Well, what is it?"
"She hasn't been to the gym in over a week." I somehow knew that this rule was the one that shouldn't be broken, what ever the situation. I was right. He pondered on it for a while. He told me that the only time I could be forgiven for breaking this rule was when there wasn't a gym to go to, such as on holiday. He went on to say that he did understand why I hadn't gone, as I was busy revising most days. However, he did point out a couple of wasted hours that I could've used to go to the gym. He finally gave me two choices, as I told you the other day. I opted for the spanking.

Pretty soon I was bent over a chair and Sean was hitting me with my wooden spoon. Whew! He hit me the hardest he ever has! There were tears in my eyes and I was concentrating very hard on not moving, as he had told me to keep still. Part of me wondered if he was counting his beatings, I didn't have a clue as to how many times he hit me. I wondered if he had some kind of meter in his head "10 beatings for this infringement, 20 beatings for that infringement..." or if he just stopped when he felt like it or when he realised I needed him to stop. It's something I should probably ask him. My ass was red raw when he was finished. There was no permanent marks, though, within a couple of hours they were all gone.

Sean left my side to take the photo you all saw before you*. I was left draped over the chair and the moment I was allowed to sit up was the moment I realised I was very shakey, shivery and extremely turned on. I was at the state where the merest touch would send me into orgasm. I remember being in this platonic state when Sean and I were teens and "played" with each other without building it up to sex. I'd sometimes be left with this same shivery, giddy feeling. How can a spanking do that to you? How can it make you so very turned on, and oh so wet?

Sean was relaxing on the bed, cock standing to attention. When I looked round, he motioned for me to come join in. When I came by his side he pulled me up to above him and then I knew what he wanted. I straddled him and mounted him, slowly building up pace. The giddy excited feeling was still there and within moments I had to ask to come. I wondered if he'd tease me for a while, deny me release after such a brutal (wonderful!) spanking, but he gave me permission straight away. There was then no stopping me. The orgasm was wonderful, causing my head to spin and adding to the dizziness I was experiencing. After a couple of minutes Sean looked at me and said, "I think that's enough of a break," as he reached over to the bedside table and grasped the wooden spoon. My heart leapt, I made small protesting noises as he reached over with the spoon and whacked my ass once again. This time he was softer with it and it added greatly to my excitement. My thrusting into him paused, my body starting to become tired. "You mustn't stop," he told me, so I didn't...

*Image removed

Technorati Tags: ass, DD, photo scene, sex, spank, spoon

Why I must go to the gym

As promised yesterday, my HNT photo* for today is of my newly found boobs. This is what Sean, J and J2 kept looking at. And they carried on glancing at them today too. I'm new to all this attention, and I'm starting to like it.

Today Sean and I had a scene, to dispell some of the passion and tenseness that built up over last week over my period - I'm one of those girls who won't have sex when I'm on. (BTW, despite my painful mittelschmerz I had hardly had any pain at all last week. Weird, huh?) Sean has suggested that the punishments for Rule One (the gym one) and any other situation that would have been punished by no sex have their punishment changed. He argues that he shouldn't suffer because of my rule breaking. So now it's all punished by orgasm denial instead. I believe I have Padme to thank for giving Sean that idea and reminding him that orgasm denial doesn't just have to be for males. Now. I haven't been to the gym in over a week. So I sheepishly told him just as we were getting down to business. He pondered it for a while and gave me two choices.

1) I could see through the already agreed punishment of orgasm denial through-out our scene.
or 2) I could be denied orgasm at our next scene (probably tomorrow) and be spanked today.

There wasn't really a choice, as I hadn't had an orgasm for at least a week, so there was no chance of me holding one back. So I went for number two; I had been wanting a spanking any way.

Sean's spanking was the hardest he has ever done. I had tears in my eyes - though that's not really anything new. Here's a photo of my poor rear afterwards.*

I'll go into what happened during the scene tomorrow morning. We're off to watch House.

Good night all. xxx

*Images removed

Technorati Tags: ass, boobs, DD, HNT, photo, spank