More musings
I need to give an apology, of sorts. I sat down yesterday to finally start writing the story I've been planning and ended up with about four sentences. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, as I've been steering clear of even reading erotica for the last couple of weeks. I've found I've been reading more and more of Figleaf and Avatar, who are adult bloggers but they both almost make a point of not writing down their own experiences. Sometimes you do need to take a break from erotica, afterall, whether sensual or smutty. Which sort of brings me on to the main subject of this post...
A week ago, or so, I made a comment that I wasn't feeling good about even "thinking about the possibility of initiating vanilla sex". I've gotten over that guilt now, and Sean and I have managed to carry on enjoying carnal pleasures. We've even had a couple of easygoing scenes over the last few days. A return to normality has been successful, and I definitely owe it all to Sean.
We're at a huge turning point in our relationship. Foremost, we are moving in together in less than two weeks. This is a massive step for us. Not even a year ago, we were living in separate towns. Four years ago we lived 60 miles away from each other and the time we were together was very precious for us. We've grown rather complacent with each other over the last nine months, when we've been living just around the corner from each other. In two weeks, we will be living in the same house. I am very excited and very apprehensive at the same time. We thought (Okay, my mum kept telling me...) that going to Uni together would be a big "test" for us, but surely living together is the ultimate "test"? I have every faith that it'll work out okay. Sean's already declared we have to *ahem* 'christen' each room over the summer. That includes our housemates' room. That'll be fun.
Less importantly, Sean suggested a couple of days ago that he take care of my finances for me. My immediate reaction was to disagree. I was very surprised with myself when I realised my reaction for what it was, and it took me until today to come to terms with 'giving up control', something I thought came naturally to me. Apparently, it only comes naturally to me when it's connected to sex. Having Sean help me sort my finances out would be a great thing for him to do, otherwise I may end up in trouble by the end of the summer period.
The summer period poses a problem, finance-wise; as I will owe a total of £800 in rent plus the remainder of the house deposit, food shopping and bills, with no more loan payments until October. It's going to be hard, though I have been accepted as a emplyee of a temping agency now so I should have an income over the summer. Sean is very good with money. He'll help sort me out.
This brings me on to a point I wish to make, though I fear I will probably stuff it up and won't convey exactly what I want to say. I think someone I've read recently has made the point that there are a vast volume of lifestyle blogs out there who only talk about the sex side of their relationship. Sure, this blog has been one of them until recently. Most don't convey the other sides of their D/s, DD, M/s (whatever term you choose) relationship. I'd just like to say that, especially over the last few weeks, our D/s relationship has crept out of the bedroom and has enabled Sean to care for me when he needed to. As a Dom (Master? We haven't really discussed it...) he's been able to let me give up my facade of control and it has enabled him to care for me. Ooops, I already said that. Truth is, that's what it has really done. There's most definitely more than just the sex side to a BDSM relationship. I think that the kink side has enabled us to talk openly to one another, and so this openness has translated to other sides of our relationship too. I hope this makes sense. I plan to muse over this further. For now, good night. xxx
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