Thanks to Deb this week for her question:
I am curious as to how far you will take this? Say in 5 years where would you like to see yourselves as far as being Master/sub? Are you working towards a goal in training or something like that? Is there a place you want to be at in the future in this?
Well, today, we have decided to each respond to the question. So, me first.
I'm really not sure. As we mentioned before, we don't really have many limits yet, because we haven't taken it far enough. Mel still has yet to use a safeword, despite me being harder and harder with her. Though it turns me on, my upbringing tells me it is wrong to hit a girl, so I find it hard, even though Mel wants it.
I think Mel and I are taking it slowly, exploring. We don't really have a direction yet, though I think we are getting nearer to having one. We only have 5 basic rules, which can be found
here. Addressed in the rules are things that we both want. For example, Mel must go to the gym frequently. She must stay under a certain weight. This is not because she is overweight, but because we both don't want her to become overweight. I'm not into skinny girls, nor am I into big girls. I like mine around Mels size (corny as it may sound). She is a size 12-14 (thats American 10-12, Mel informs me).
I love the size of her breasts, for example. They are lovely, and full, and round, and bouncy, yet they are still small enough to be very firm and not even the slightest bit saggy. In the UK we have a newspaper called "The Sun" which has, on page 3 of every edition, a topless woman. Having worked in a corner shop (and prior to that, been a paper boy), I have seen my fair share of these page 3 girls. They're all quite lovely, but there are few of them who's breasts compare favourably to Mel's. I used to think this was because she was so young, but as she has turned 21 now, and she still beats these models, some of whom are 18, I am very impressed.
Anyway, I feel I have diverged from the question, so I will try and stop thinking about Mel's perfect boobs and go back to what I was saying...
... Oh yes. Rules. So there is the gym one, to keep us both happy about her looks, and also to keep her fit and healthy, which in turn should keep her on top of stress and suchlike. There is also the "audible answer" rule. This is a rule to change Mel's behaviour, for the better. She must give an audible answer to me whenever I ask a question. Nodding is not good enough. It must be audible. To me.
There are very few things I want to change about Mel, but one of them is some of the mannerisms that she has got from her mother. Mel's mum is a lovely lady, and I get on fine with her. But there are still things about her that rub me up the wrong way, for example she seems to have very strong opinions, with very little room for alternatives. I now can stand up to these, and hold my own, as I have been with Mel for long enough. But in the early days, I didn't want to for fear I would not be able to see Mel so much. So I held my tongue.
One example is the statement "Errr!". Not a questioning "Umm" or a pause in speaking "er...", but a forceful, you are doing something wrong, "Errr!". The exclamation mark is almost pronounced! Mel did this to me once, when I was closing a door, not realising that she wanted to go through it. It's the sort of sound that should raise a guilty feeling. However, from Mel it raised anger in me, which I unleased vocally immediately: "You are not to speak to me like that! That is how your mother speaks and it is highly disrespectful. I have done nothing wrong and I will not have it from you. Do you understand?"
Mel cowered, and nodded, pausing only slightly before remembering to say "yes" before I noticed that she didn't give an audible answer. I am pleased to say that I did not have to give her any punishment (it is my mind that a slave doesn't deserve punishment if she does something that she doesn't realise is wrong, unless she has already been told about it). She has not done it again since, knowing that her bottom will really smart if she does.
Another Mel's mum thing is the statement "Thats a bit much." What a useless statement. It doesn't convey any reasoning behind why you disagree. Just that you disagree. I think it is given by a gut reaction that says "don't like that," but has no reasoning or justification to back it up. It is never elaborated upon, it is almost seen as a conversation stopper. I hate it. Mel said it to me once since moving in together, and she has not said it again.
OK, I must stop talking about the past and start on the future...
... In 5 years time, I want a very obedient, happy and loving slave. I want Mel to do her chores and clean up behind herself without me having to tell her to. I want her to become a tidier, more organised person, more for her sake than mine. I want her to be open and honest, and not afraid to share her mind, no matter how dark her thoughts. I want her to ask for my guidance when she needs it, and to really listen to the advice I give. I want a much larger list of rules that we have both agreed upon. I want to know that any concerns that either of us have can be openly expressed and discussed, and be solved between us.
Many of these goals are already mostly met, many need working on. But I am happy with progress, and I look forward to being able to marry Mel, knowing that no matter what happens, we will always have each other, and all problems will be solved before they really become problems at all.
In answer to the question: we will take this as far as we are both comfortable and happy with, and no further. We do not yet know where that limit lies.
Sorry for all the divergences, I hope this answered the question! And remember: we do not have a question yet for next weekend, so get those comment juices flowing! Ask anything, we ain't shy!
Mel will type out her answer to the question tomorrow, but now we are going to bed ;)
Good night all (or morning, afternoon, evening, depending on timezone!),
Sean.
