Self image is a wonderful thing, most of the time
Self image can be a wonderful thing if you're a wonderful confident person. Or even if you're not that wonderful, the right self image can make you feel wonderful anyway. The right self image can increase your confidence, your self esteem, your happiness and your smile.
I enjoyed a very positive self image all through my childhood. Right up until around the age of fifteen. Sean and I met when we were fourteen, and on that weekend we built an oven out of mud. A long story of why we were doing it, but the reason I'm telling you is because Sean has commented time and again of how I was different from the other girls, I really got "stuck in" and acted like one of the boys and had a lot of fun. That's was attracted him to me.
My self esteem has decreased quite a lot since then, but my actual self image has stayed the same. My negative self esteem has led me to believe (at times) that I am a fraud when it comes to education, but my self image has remained positive; I know I'm not fat, I'm a little short but that makes me cute, my boobs are just the right size, and so on and so on. Whether, when looking at my photos, you agree with me is a different matter, and one that I'm not going to argue about. What you find attractive is probably a lot different to what I find attractive.
What point am I going to make? When does the sex come in? ('cos, surely, after all this non-posting time, I must have some sex tales to tell now, right?) The sex comes in just a moment. First, I have to take you back to something that happened three days ago...
As you may be aware, Sean and I have just moved in together. We are living with another couple too, and to save them possible future embarrassment I shall refer to them as L (female) and C (male). [I promised myself I'd never refer to people as just a letter, but then I'm already referring to a J in other posts...]. We are living in a typical student house, which means each bedroom door has a self-locking lock on it. On the day in question, somehow the one key to C and L's bedroom got left in said bedroom before C closed the door. Which promptly locked itself. Which left them locked out of their bedroom.
Fortunately, the bedroom is on the ground floor, and the tiny window was left open. C, full of masculine pride, climbed up on the window-sill and tried to get through. Which he couldn't, he's full of muscle. For the same reasons, Sean couldn't either. L couldn't... which left me. We tried putting me though head first, and got as far as leaving me hanging upside down as we tried to work out which way round my knees should bend to fit my legs through. I was probably upside down, bent at the middle with all my weight resting on a thin strip of my stomach for about five minutes as we tried to figure it all out. Eventually, we met the neighbours as they came and gave their two-cents on how it should be done. In the end I was shoved through upside-down and backwards, just to show how much fun it can be. Three days later, and the bruises on my legs, stomach and chest have come up nicely. My back aches too, as do my boobs. All of my squish-y bits had to squish through that gap, and they're now regretting it.
Anyway, my point? Today Sean and I went to our bedroom for some get-rid-of-this-horniness-but-at-the-same-time-keep-it-lazy-because-its-hot sex. We got upstairs, I watched him undress and then it was time for me to do so. As I pulled off my jeans and t-shirt, the ugly brown and purple bruises stared up at me. As did my belly, which has grown over the last month due to it not going to the gym to be kept in shape. Suddenly I was hit with this strange new feeling. A feeling of yukkiness. A feeling that I should put all of my clothes back on, topped with a big jumper, and go downstairs and watch TV. Sean had been somewhat building up to this moment, though, and there was no way I was going to let this new feeling get in the way. I had been looking forward to this, he'd been away for the weekend. I was touched when it became obvious to me that he knew something was up. In the end, I became more focused on him, I kept my clothes off, he settled for a blowjob, and he kept complimenting me. Most of the compliments were in the form of groans, sighs and "stop, otherwise I'll come!", which are perhaps the best form of compliment you can receive when you're sucking on your lover's cock.
My point is, that's the first time that my self image has been negative. In almost twenty-one years - even with having a mother that believes only her opinion counts, even when I was a size 14 when I was twelve years old (back when all 12 year olds were skinny), even when the kids at school made fun of me when I shaved all my hair off, even when I suddenly had breasts at age 10 and my whole class talked about it behind my back - that's the first time my self image has been negative.
I find it funny that it was solved by giving Sean a blowjob.
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