Where would she fit?
After the excitement yesterday, today I have been thinking more about a comment left on yesterday's post: "...and this begs the question, how will the girlfriend fit into your D/s dynamic (ideally)?" (Thanks to persephone)
The very night that Sean first brought up the topic of having a girlfriend for us to share, he asked whether I'd prefer a dominant girlfriend or one who would also be subordinate to him. The answer was easy - I'd want her to be in my position too. To me, it feels completely unnatural for a woman to be dominating. This goes completely against my every day interactions with most women - I surround myself with dominating people, men and women alike. But I always wonder if, deep down, the dominating women really just want to give up the control. [There is one exception, something I'll go into another time, which is when a woman has the Princess Complex. But that's for another day.]
So I think I'd be much happier if she was submissive, ideally willing to give up control and wanting to be pleasing... just like me really. This doesn't mean that she can't have problems with what she wants to do - I have problems too. I'd just want her to be willing to try to solve them. I'd want her to be fulfilled by acts of submission and service. I guess I'd want her to have the same mind set as me - open and honest, willing to try things out but also not afraid to say if something really isn't working for her.
In an ideal world, she'd be able to move in with us and she'd share my house-hold chores and our bed. Perhaps she'd be on my University course; that way we'd be able to support each other through our studies, and we'd also have the same timetable. That'd mean that we'd be able to divide every thing up really well between us when it came to looking after the house. That'd also mean that things like cooking would be quicker - we'd be home at the same time and able to get dinner on the table when Sean walks through the door. Part of me wonders if all that time together would be a good thing; but then if I got on with her as well as I get on with Sean, it'd be no problem at all - we are talking about the ideal situation, after all.
It would mean that Sean would have an extra slave to discipline... but I think he'd enjoy it more than anything. Two reddened bums are better than one, don't you think? I also think there'd be some more order to it all - as she'd be able to tell Sean when I've been bad (and vice versa). It'd sort of make it more official. And as for the sex side of things... In an ideal world there'd be very little jealousy - only the kind that makes things more interesting and intense. I think if Sean spied a stolen kiss between me and our girlfriend he'd be rather hot under the collar for the rest of the day. There'd be that extra zing to our relationship. And of course, that relationship would be three ways instead of two. That'd mean that he would be able to have sex with her just like how he does with me. Again, in an ideal world, it'd turn me on. As I think I referred to when talking about slaves, it's best to leave a sex slave wanting more; and having two slaves would allow Sean to do that more effectively.
So far, all of this sounds great. We just need to be weary of the green eyed monster, as not everything works as it does in the ideal world. We still have no idea of how to go about finding someone we both like who is both into us and willing to try a little D/s. This is all fun to talk about, but in the real world it's probably going to take at least a few months before we find someone to share our relationship with - and even then there may be problems... we have, for example, never slept with any one else (either as a couple or separately), we are both still rather young too.
But in theory, this is most definitely something I'd love to try.


6 comments:
i loved reading your description! for me personally, i would prefer a third party to be dominant. selfish as i am, i would feel that another submissive person would take away attention that is meant for ME. i guess that is why i have two owners (one male, one female) and a sometimes-dominant fiance. i have three people to submit to and i like it that way... and in terms of fantasy i now wonder about it all in a live-in situation. having to serve them all every day? it would be exhausting but wonderful.
then again, your description was a bit titillating too. seems like she'd almost be like a sister.
it's true that it's dreadfully hard to find a good match, and just think of how tricky it is to reconcile the life dreams of two people, much less three! but i'll be anxious to hear your updates.
Wow, that is quite an idea. I will be watching to see how you get along finding someone.
I really enjoy your blog, but it makes me sad when you make comments like "it feels unnatural for a woman to be dominating"
I havn't been to your blog in a while and wanted to stop by. I have been in the position of having another woman in my relationship who was submissive. I have to say that I am hoping if it ever happens again that she will be dominant and not submissive.
I found I was very jealous a lot of worrying of being replaced by nikki and him thinking she was more submissive to him than I was etc....
I had a online Domme for a while and enjoyed the control from her a lot. I'd like to find a woman in R/t like that. :)
BIG HUGS
padme
I'm a submissive {would like to be a slave} male, and I LOVE dominating women they're sooo Sexy!!!
Are you married?
If not, I'd get married
before botha youse fall
into the Abyss o'Misery.
'the more you shall honor Me,
the more I shall bless you'
-the Infant Jesus of Prague
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