Bottom smacking.

Perhaps after my comment on Monday that our relationship has been rather vanilla recently, Sean felt that he had to prove that our other tendencies are only just under the cover.

Last night's love session involved a lot of bottom smacking. I've been craving it for a while, and perhaps Sean has noticed. It still surprises me how much I seem to enjoy it. Sean has mentioned before that it might be to do with the self-harm thing and I think to an extent he is right. That day I scolded my hands with the water in my room I felt a lot of relief. I haven't felt that down since that day, but there are days when I feel that I just want to go and hide. Sometimes it's those days that I try to initiate the whole spanking thing with Sean. Most of the times he takes the bait and smacks me so it stings. Then I feel better, and often it'll turn me on. Perhaps now I've said this, he wont take the bait any more and will try and talk about how I feel. Talking about it, though, usually reduces me to tears. Don't get me wrong, Sean, most of the times you end up spanking me it's because I enjoy it; not because I want to hurt myself but can't bring up the courage. Argh, perhaps I've now made a big hash of this thing and I should start off again.

Sean smacked me repeatedly during our love making last night. I enjoyed it immensely.