The girl at the gym

Argh. You can tell exam time is coming (Sean's first one is a week away) as our posts are becoming shorter and less frequent. That'll all change after July 9th when they're finally over. I can't wait for the 10th and to just be able to lie-in in the morning without feeling guilty or pressured into getting up. That day is going to be one long, lazy day!

Anyway, today I went to the gym. You may be interested to know that I have lost my first few pounds, I now weigh 11st 5. I am pleased with this as I have been going to the gym regularly since January and the effects are just starting to show. But anyway, that isn't what I wanted to tell you about.

While I was working out on the stepper I noticed the girl working out opposite me looked rather yummy and she quickly caught me staring at her. I was immediately flustered, you generally don't expect someone of your own gender to check you out at the gym - that's what desperate guys do. I looked down for a few moments, when she came into view again. The stepper machines are built such that the holder for your water bottle is at knee height. She had just bent down to grab her bottle. Giving me a lovely view down her tight v-neck top. I couldn't help but stare. Was she showing me on purpose? The view was quick, she was upright within no time. I looked up at her and smiled bashfully, she giggled back. And then she was bending down again to replace her bottle on its stand. She came upright once again and I looked away as I felt her eyes bore into me. She carried on, every couple of minutes bending down for her bottle and smiling knowingly at me. I smiled back, would've been red from embarrassment if I hadn't already been red from working out. Eventually my 10 minutes were up and I gave her a slight wave as I left the machine in search of some light weights.

So there I was on one of the weight machines (working out my thighs) when I see the girl walk up to me. "Hi there," she said. I smiled; let my eyes wonder down from her face, over her gentle curves and down her lovely tanned legs. "How is this weather, huh?" she asked. I replied with a general comment about how wet it is currently. Us Brits, we love to talk about the weather. It's the best icebreaker conversation out there, and today it was my friend. I went to leave the machine, it was obvious that she wanted its use. She told me no, to take my time. I sat back down, she carried on, "I saw you looking at me over there," I laughed, feeling uneasy, rubbing my neck, "Oh... well, you know, I um... couldn't help it?" I mumbled out as a reply. She smiled, flattered at my comment. "You know, we could escape from here and get a drink," she offered.

Oh yes! Yes please, lovely lady! "Uh, you do know that it's 10 in the morning?" Damn my ability to be sensible! She looked at me, somewhat puzzled, "Well, okay, come meet me tonight. If you aren't doing anything?"

Now. A while ago I wrote a series of posts exploring what might happen if Sean and I ever brought up the courage to meet a girl and take her home with us. That fortnight we had quite a few deep conversations about the nature of our relationship and it ended with the (somewhat disappointing, but nevertheless reassuring) musings that Sean isn't ready to share me. I'm totally fine with that. I would like to one day explore with another woman and find out if I really am bisexual or just curious. But it needs to be in a relaxed atmosphere, and for it to be relaxed Sean needs to feel okay about everything. He currently doesn't. Which is why I declined the offers from this girl and mentioned that actually I was meeting up with my boyfriend tonight. To which she gave a dejected "Oh. I'll see you around then, I guess." and walked away. I sort of felt sorry for her, had I been leading her on? (I've been accused of leading people on before) Had I been building her hopes up of getting laid that she felt no embarrassment about picking up another girl at the gym, even infront of the hungry eyes of the guys nearby? I don't know. I don't think I 'll see her again, I've never seen her in the gym before or on campus. And it's nearly the end of the year and there's a long summer before us so if I see her next (academic) year she'd have forgotten about me. Probably would've pulled someone else with her water bottle trick.

I've since told Sean about the morning's events, I couldn't even wait to tell him when we were alone. I typed it out on his phone for him to read while talking to J. We later discussed it briefly, him mainly focusing on what she looked like and how she tried to pick me up. I asked him how he would've felt if I had agreed to meet up later with her. He at first said he wouldn't have minded, but just as I was mentally kicking myself he corrected himself and said that it'd be unfair at exam time. Bad timing indeed! I wanted to confirm with him that he still didn't feel like sharing me, and he did confirm it. I don't think I would've done much with her if I knew she wasn't into men too. Well, I don't think I would've done so. The world is full of "what ifs?" and "should'ves". My world has just had added "Should've said yes to that drink," "Should've gotton her number," "Should've asked her name," "Should've..."


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