How to fuck during a heatwave

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Sex is better when...

"Yes, sex will get better, but only when you stop doing it with him."

I couldn't believe it when I read the last article in a magazine I had brought a while ago. On the cover it boasted of "30 love lessons to live by" and "Ditch the dating rules, fix your relationship", but on the back page I found an article telling anyone who read it that we're all better off single. Or at least, our sex lives get better when we are not in a relationship that we've been in for over two years. It tells me, "nothing beats fresh flesh", "I feel sexier single", "My coupled-up friends don't get as excited about buying a new sparkly top"... I should break up with my boy-friend so I can get more excited about sparkly items of clothing? No thank-you. Maybe I'm a little more reserved than I should be, judging by page 196 of February's Cosmopolitan, at least.

Wait. Me more reserved than the average 20-something British woman? Hang-on. I'm the one running the S&M Sex Blog here. And it's all thanks to my wonderful boyfriend Sean, who suggested running it in the first place. My boyfriend, who I've been with for the last six and a half years. Looking further into the article, it tells me about a bloke who's girlfriend is a "lad's mag fantasy - tiny waist, big breasts, gorgeous". It tells me he thinks his sex life is disastrous because he loves her so much he can only be gentle and caring in bed. It goes on to say that that's "hardly the height of passion". Perhaps the magazine should suggest that couples who feel like that should turn to some light BDSM. That's what helped to bring the sparkle back to our relationship. Suddenly we were able to talk to each other about our sex life, and we were able to indulge each other in what we wanted. Rather than saying we should look elsewhere for new, fantastic sex, the mag should say "bring out the handcuffs". But maybe that's just my opinion.

On to another subject. I have a little announcement to make. Sean and I have been discussing this for a while, and we'd like your opinion before I put in a whole lot of work into a new project. Being broke is a fact of student life. Sean's alright for money; he has a lot of savings. I don't. I get a £3000 student loan each year, paid in three installments. None of those installments are paid over the summer, and last [academic] year, almost all of my loan went on accommodation. This year, as I am renting during the summer (and paying for it monthly rather than quarterly), I am left with very little money. Factor in that I am already £500 overdrawn, and my loan doesn't come in until October, and no-one seems to want to employ me... I am rather broke. I'm not here begging for money. I've seen other bloggers do it, and all they say is "I'm poor, give me money" and put up a little donate button for you to click. Rather than beg for money, I thought I might start a project. You'd enjoy it, I think.

What I am proposing to is set up a new site. This site will act as a "story archive", where I will make regular story postings. At the moment my idea is to post a chapter a week in a blog format. I will then give the option for you, the reader, to purchase the next chapter a week early for a nominal fee. It'd be in the style of an "e-book" (it'll be sent to your inbox, ready to read when you want it). There will also be the complete story for sale, with photos. This would of course depend heavily on whether I get my act together and actually do the work. So I'd like to know what you all think. Would you be interested? Please leave a comment and tell us if it's worth doing. Cheers.

Technorati Tags: BDSM, begging, love, money, relationship, sex

Sex is so much better when...

... you're fully involved. Sean commented after our late night fuck-fest last night that I "um... participated more in the foreplay". Which I did. It came as a surprise, as at the beginning I was just looking forward to going to sleep.

The temperature here in the UK is up in the 30s (that's high 80s for the Americans), and we're not used to it. Last night Sean and I stayed up watching videos until 3 am, when we eventually agreed we had to go to bed. It was still too hot. I rolled over to Sean and decided to give him the kind of good-night kiss that I used to want to give him, but didn't for fear that it'd make him horny. Well, it doesn't matter now if I make him horny before bed, as we share the same bedroom; he doesn't have a ten minute walk home after saying good bye to me any more. It was one of those very long, very slow, tongue-probing, loving, sloppy kisses. The kind where there isn't much passion, per se, just lots of love. Sean wondered out loud if I was trying to make him horny. I told him I wasn't. I told him that I'd just given him the kind of good-night kiss I used to want to give him, but felt I couldn't. His cock, when my hand lightly grazed it without meaning to, felt extremely hard. There was no way I was getting out of this one.

Over the last couple of weeks, my sex drive has been slowly waning. It probably happens to most people. There are just times where sex isn't at the fore-front of your mind. Sean's hadn't waned at all, though, so of course we were still indulging in carnal pleasures. I'd became very passive during our lovemaking, though, which after a while isn't so good. Just because I'm submissive by nature, doesn't mean I have to be passive... and often a wholly passive sex partner isn't heaps of fun. I imagine that over the last couple of weeks, I've been letting Sean do most of the work, and I think he's been starting to notice (I can tell, 'cos he's been asking more and more if I'm okay). Foreplay has been a matter of "tweak the nipples, rub the clit 'till she's come and then penetrate", with varying degrees of "kisses and having her suck cock first". I'm not saying that foreplay like that is bad, just that our foreplay had settled into that little run of events, without straying much from them.

Last night, though, was very different. I suddenly found myself actually horny, and more than willing to take part. I knew the way I wanted it. So much so, that by the time we were doing it, I had him grasp my wrists up above my head in one hand. I had him tell to me come. I directed him a lot more than what I have been recently. And it was great!

Technorati Tags: foreplay, sex, sex dive

Self image is a wonderful thing, most of the time

Self image can be a wonderful thing if you're a wonderful confident person. Or even if you're not that wonderful, the right self image can make you feel wonderful anyway. The right self image can increase your confidence, your self esteem, your happiness and your smile.

I enjoyed a very positive self image all through my childhood. Right up until around the age of fifteen. Sean and I met when we were fourteen, and on that weekend we built an oven out of mud. A long story of why we were doing it, but the reason I'm telling you is because Sean has commented time and again of how I was different from the other girls, I really got "stuck in" and acted like one of the boys and had a lot of fun. That's was attracted him to me.

My self esteem has decreased quite a lot since then, but my actual self image has stayed the same. My negative self esteem has led me to believe (at times) that I am a fraud when it comes to education, but my self image has remained positive; I know I'm not fat, I'm a little short but that makes me cute, my boobs are just the right size, and so on and so on. Whether, when looking at my photos, you agree with me is a different matter, and one that I'm not going to argue about. What you find attractive is probably a lot different to what I find attractive.

What point am I going to make? When does the sex come in? ('cos, surely, after all this non-posting time, I must have some sex tales to tell now, right?) The sex comes in just a moment. First, I have to take you back to something that happened three days ago...

As you may be aware, Sean and I have just moved in together. We are living with another couple too, and to save them possible future embarrassment I shall refer to them as L (female) and C (male). [I promised myself I'd never refer to people as just a letter, but then I'm already referring to a J in other posts...]. We are living in a typical student house, which means each bedroom door has a self-locking lock on it. On the day in question, somehow the one key to C and L's bedroom got left in said bedroom before C closed the door. Which promptly locked itself. Which left them locked out of their bedroom.

Fortunately, the bedroom is on the ground floor, and the tiny window was left open. C, full of masculine pride, climbed up on the window-sill and tried to get through. Which he couldn't, he's full of muscle. For the same reasons, Sean couldn't either. L couldn't... which left me. We tried putting me though head first, and got as far as leaving me hanging upside down as we tried to work out which way round my knees should bend to fit my legs through. I was probably upside down, bent at the middle with all my weight resting on a thin strip of my stomach for about five minutes as we tried to figure it all out. Eventually, we met the neighbours as they came and gave their two-cents on how it should be done. In the end I was shoved through upside-down and backwards, just to show how much fun it can be. Three days later, and the bruises on my legs, stomach and chest have come up nicely. My back aches too, as do my boobs. All of my squish-y bits had to squish through that gap, and they're now regretting it.

Anyway, my point? Today Sean and I went to our bedroom for some get-rid-of-this-horniness-but-at-the-same-time-keep-it-lazy-because-its-hot sex. We got upstairs, I watched him undress and then it was time for me to do so. As I pulled off my jeans and t-shirt, the ugly brown and purple bruises stared up at me. As did my belly, which has grown over the last month due to it not going to the gym to be kept in shape. Suddenly I was hit with this strange new feeling. A feeling of yukkiness. A feeling that I should put all of my clothes back on, topped with a big jumper, and go downstairs and watch TV. Sean had been somewhat building up to this moment, though, and there was no way I was going to let this new feeling get in the way. I had been looking forward to this, he'd been away for the weekend. I was touched when it became obvious to me that he knew something was up. In the end, I became more focused on him, I kept my clothes off, he settled for a blowjob, and he kept complimenting me. Most of the compliments were in the form of groans, sighs and "stop, otherwise I'll come!", which are perhaps the best form of compliment you can receive when you're sucking on your lover's cock.

My point is, that's the first time that my self image has been negative. In almost twenty-one years - even with having a mother that believes only her opinion counts, even when I was a size 14 when I was twelve years old (back when all 12 year olds were skinny), even when the kids at school made fun of me when I shaved all my hair off, even when I suddenly had breasts at age 10 and my whole class talked about it behind my back - that's the first time my self image has been negative.

I find it funny that it was solved by giving Sean a blowjob.

Technorati Tags: blowjob, esteem, self image, sex, window

HNT: Not just black and white

So, happy half-nekkid thursday, everyone*! I don't know about you, but I love a girl in white trousers with black on underneath. We are back, live and kicking, and should be returning to our regular posting schedule. Here's hoping tonight my ass goes from black and white to black and blue!

*Image removed
Technorati Tags: ass, HNT, photo

Hello everyone, from the depths of the University library

Wednesday morning.

Boom! My eyes snap open. What was that noise? Cannons, I think, and I roll over and go back to sleep.

Boom! "What was that noise?" I mumble to Sean, who is dosing next to me. "Thunder," he replies, "you should know." It's too early. I roll back over and try to sleep. Boom! The thunder wont stop. I open my eyes for a while, listening out for the next thunder clap. A flash! The storm is getting closer. I'm getting restless. It was our first night in our new house last night, but the bed hasn't been 'christened' yet. I roll over back to Sean and let a sigh escape my lips. "Sean?" I ask. "Go and find the condoms then," he tells me.

Ah. Condoms. Damn.

I look in the boxes in the bedroom, the study and the landing. I go downstairs, careful not to wake our house mates, and look in the boxes in the kitchen. Can't find them anywhere. Eventually I return to bed, unsuccessful. Damn it, why did the thunderstorm have to come before we have properly unpacked?

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You see, even now we still haven't found the packet of condoms. I remember packing them, leaving one out just in case we needed it before we moved (we did). I just don't remember where I put them. We've gone through all the boxes at least four times. And there's a lot of boxes. It's a good thing the University Health Service provides condoms for free. I'm sitting here with my purple paper bag of joy, just itching to go home and try them out.

Any way. This is a quick hello from the depths of the University library. We have ordered Internet access, and we should have it by this time next week, in time for the next HNT. We haven't posted one today because we haven't had time to take one, and also Os requested we all post a themed photo for the independence day holiday. He said for non-Americans to take a photo of what we did at the weekend... Well, how interesting can a photo of me unpacking boxes be? Possibly I could make it raunchy, though not as raunchy as Figlieaf makes folding clothes...

Technorati Tags: comdoms, figleaf, moving house, storm, thunder, uni

A small hello, some non-sex musings and a meme.

Hello everyone.

This month is a new beginning for us. Last month was an end of an era; I think I really did see the end of my childhood last month. With my Granddad passing away, I've come to once again question my beliefs and I've been a little surprised at what I have found. Through-out my teens I've been swaying between believing in reincarnation and believing in no afterlife what-so-ever. Why, then, am I so sure that if I take the time to talk to my Granddad, he will be able to hear? When I was young, my parents told me that if I burnt the letter to Santa then he will know what I had written, even though he was miles and miles away. I honestly believe that if I write something to my Granddad and burn it then he will know of what I have written. I don't know if this is a belief I have come to on my own, or if it steams from my parents' teachings about Santa. I guess it's a mix of both. This conclusion I've come to intrigues me, though. If I believe in no afterlife, or in reincarnation, how can my Granddad be around for me to talk to? This is something I haven't really talked about with anyone yet, as I'm not sure I could hold up my new found belief against someone like Sean - someone who knows that there is no left-over soul after you've died to float about and go into heaven or into a new body, and has known it for a long time.

Also, this new month sees Sean and I actually living together for the first time. So this is another element to my childhood coming to an end. Even though we've been together for over six years, the fourth of July is going to see us living together as a couple (I don't think I have mentioned we move in together on Independence Day... Even though we aren't American, I still find it rather ironic.), paying rent and bills together, cooking for each other, sleeping together each night, caring for the house... The list is endless. It's going to be so different to anything we've done before. I can't wait. On top of that, I now have an office job. A real job that isn't retail or fast-food. These two things combined together make me feel like I've been plunged into adulthood in the deep end, and with my beliefs being questioned again I don't see a way back. I'll be celebrating my 21st birthday in a few months, and then I'll be grown-up for sure. All I need to do now is graduate, and I only have 12 months of lectures and labs left until I do that!

There's one more thing I wish to tell everyone. I am in love. I guess it sounds funny for someone in a long-term relationship to say that. But something Sean and I have known for a long time is the feeling of "being in love" doesn't last more than around 6 months. I think it's actually been found in Scientific experiments, I'll see if I can dig up the issue of New Scientist that had a 'love special' a few months ago. The feeling of being in love is to do with brain chemicals. Anyway, I'd just like to say that Wednesday night I fell in love with Sean all over again during a proper love-making session. You could tell it was the real thing, the love-making I mean, because afterwards Sean actually commented, "I think that's that first time we've made love in ages". I was on a super high, that spilled over into the next day and is still with me now. Even with everything that's been going on, I feel fantastic. Being in love is a fantastic feeling.

On to site maintenance... We still don't know how long we will be without Internet in our new house. Our guess at the moment is two weeks, but I might be able to fit in the odd post at the Uni library. You'll have to wait and see, I'm afraid. To keep every one amused, I wrote a post a couple of days ago summarising our last 6 months of content. I think it was a labour of love, it took over two hours. So while I'm away from the Internet, there's always the post below you can check out. Well, that's it for now. Good night my friends.

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I got this meme from Padme, who got it from butterfly. Unlike before, I'll just do the bolding and ilalicising and if anyone wants to know more then leave a comment and I'll elaborate. If you want to do it, go ahead and do it. I'm not tagging anyone on this one, because I'm not around enough to read them all at the moment.

1) Bold what is true about you. (in red)
2) Italicise what you wish was true about you. (in blue)
3) Add one true thing about you to the end of the list.
4) Tag five friends (no tags, only if you want to do it)



* I miss somebody right now.
* I don't watch much TV these days.
* I own lots of books
* I wear glasses or contact lenses.
* I love to play video games.
* I've tried marijuana.
* I've watched porn movies.
* I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
* I believe honesty is usually always the best policy.
* I curse sometimes. As opposed to constantly.
* I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
* I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
* I have broken someone's bones.
* I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
* I hate the rain.
* I'm paranoid at times.
* I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
* I need/want money right now.
* I love sushi.
* I talk really, really fast.
* I have fresh breath in the morning.
* I have long hair.
* I have lost money in Las Vegas.
* I have at least one sibling.
* I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
* I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
* I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
* I like the way that I look.
* I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months
* I am usually pessimistic.
* I have a lot of mood swings.
* I think prostitution should be legalized.
* I slept with a roommate. (read: flatmate)
* I have a hidden talent.
* I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
* I have a lot of friends.
* I have pecked someone of the same sex.
* I enjoy talking on the phone.
* I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
* I love to shop and/or window shop.
* I'm obsessed with my blog.
* I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
* I have a cell phone.
* I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
* I've rejected someone before.
* I currently like/love someone.
* I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
* I want to have children in the future.
* I have changed a diaper before.
* I've called the cops on a friend before.
* I'm not allergic to anything.
* I have a lot to learn.
* I am shy around the opposite sex.
* I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
* I have at least 5 away messages saved.
* I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
* I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
* I own the "South Park" movie.
* I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga, Livejournal or Blogger.
* I enjoy some country music.
* I would die for my best friends.
* I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.
* I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
* Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
* I have dated a close friend's ex.
* I am happy at this moment.
* I'm obsessed with guys.
* Democrat.
* Republican.
* I am punk rockish.
* I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
* I study for tests most of the time.
* I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
* I can work on a car.
* I love my job(s).
* I am comfortable with who I am right now.
* I have more than just my ears pierced.
* I walk barefoot wherever I can.
* I have jumped off a bridge.
* I love sea turtles.
* I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
* I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
* I am proficient on a musical instrument.
* I hate office jobs.
* I went to college out of state.
* I am adopted.
* I am a pyro.
* I have thrown up from crying too much.
* I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
* I fall for the worst people.
* I adore bright colors.
* I usually like covers better than originals.
* I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.
* I can pick up things with my toes.
* I can't whistle.
* I have ridden/owned a horse.
* I still have every journal I've ever written in.
* I talk in my sleep.
* I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.
* I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
* I wear a toe ring.
* I have a tattoo.
* I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
* I am a caffeine junkie.
* I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.
* If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.
* I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
* I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.
* I'm an artist.
* I am ambidextrous.
* I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.
* If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.
* I have terrible teeth.
* I hate my toes.
* I did this Meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me. (but she'll like to read it, and didn't tag anyone herself :P )
* I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
* I have lived in either three different states or countries or provinces
* I am extremely flexible.
* I love hugs more than kisses.
* I want to own my own business. I'll never get rich working for somebody else.
* I smoke.
* I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
* Nobody has ever said I'm normal.
* Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.
* I am proficient in the use of many types firearms and combat weapons.
* I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.
* I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.
* I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
* I have played strip poker with someone else before.
* I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.
* I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
* I can't stand being alone.
* I have at least one obsession at any given time.
* I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
* I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.
* I'm a judgmental asshole.
* I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
* I have traveled on more than one continent.
* I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.
* I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
* I am a Libertarian.
* I can speak more than one language.
* I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.
* I would rather read than watch TV.
* I like reading fact more than fiction.
* I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.
* I have no piercings.
* I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.
* I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
* I've been married and am now divorced.
* There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.
* I like most animals better than most people.
* I own a collection of retro game consoles.
* The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.
* I have hit someone with a dead fish.
* I have written/read erotic stories.
* I am compulsively honest.
* I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.
* I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
* I have gone from wishing I was a boy to revelling in being a girl to feeling like a boy again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.
* I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.
* I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
* I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.
* I dislike milk.
* I obsessively wash my hands.
* I always carry something significant around with me.
* Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.
* I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
* Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.
* I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.
* I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.
* I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time
* Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.
* I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
* I do not 'get' most comedy acts.
* I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing.
* I don't like to chew gum.
* I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.
* I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.
* Had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.
* I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.
* I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.
* I love to sing.
* I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.
* I have a custom-built computer.
* I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.
* I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.
* I've gone skinny-dipping.
* I've performed in three plays, all of them Shakespeare.
* I enjoy burritos.
* I'm Irish and lovin' it.
* I have a thing for redheads.
* I am a twin!
* Most times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.
* Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
* I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.
* I wish I could do High School all over again.
* I have big interest swings every year.
* I have loved Pokemon since the beginning and continue to do so.
* There's no genre of music I dislike.
* I've read every work written by my favorite author(s)
* No matter how much I sleep, I'm always tired.
* I'd rather eat out than cook.
* I am obsessed with actors that are older than I am.
* I can move my little toes independently.
* I enjoy purchasing and wearing articles of clothing and/or accessories that have skulls on them.
* I trip over my own feet at least once a week.
* I hate not knowing how to love
* I still fantasize once in a while about an ex.
* I find incredible freedom in being restricted.
* I love being housebound in a blizzard.
* I am a libra
* Thunderstorms cause me to be incredibly horny, no matter the time of day, the place nor what mood I was in prior to it.

Technorati Tags: beliefs, love, meme, moving house