Masturbation Monday #1

A while ago Sean came across the term "Masturbation Monday" and ever since has been sure to ask me to masturbate him each Monday. This has been rather enjoyable and has, in some way, brought me closer to him. Around a week and a half ago, Sean decided that perhaps I should masturbate myself, so last Monday was my first time. He had previously told me that I should take some time to myself, relax, find something that turns me on and just go with the flow. That sounded wonderful.

Monday quickly approached and I managed to keep my mind off of the deed for most of the day. That is, until the evening. As soon as Sean realised the day of the week, the porn was playing on the PC, he was sat at the desk with his jeans round his ankles and I was sat by his feet. We browsed around X-Tube for a bit ("How do you know about that?" Sean asked me. Well, I am the admin over at BlogStormz!... I'm therefore 'in the know' when it comes to free adult sites...) and quickly found something that Sean liked. I sat at his feet, shyly touching myself, not making much noise. All of a sudden I felt like I was sat up on a pedestal, with an audience. Not my idea of a relaxing time. Sean carried on browsing, stopping now and then at a clip he liked. He often asked me if I liked what we were watching - trying to get me to open up about what I wanted to see. I didn't want to say that I liked the clip showing a double penetration from behind. I felt too flustered, too embarrassed, and in a way turned off by the attention Sean was giving me. I wanted to go and hide in the bedroom with one of my naughty books and flick quickly to a chapter I knew would get me hot.

Masturbation has never been my forte. Perhaps because I've been with Sean since I was 14 - around the age that I expect most teens start experimenting. Because Sean was making me hot anyway, I didn't feel the need to masturbate that often. And when I did it was a very quick, unsatisfying affair that ended with no orgasm because I caused myself to be too sensitive to touch. That's what it still is to me. And I desperately need to overcome it. I sometimes wonder if it'd be better if I had some kind of toy to help me, but I realise I need the basics first before advancing to that weird and wonderful world.

So my first Masturbation Monday ended with Sean's sperm over my boobs, which I enjoyed by the way, and no orgasm for me. Not that I really tried. This Monday I'm on my period (I have been on for three Christmases in a row now, damnit), so my next Masturbation Monday will be the 1st. Hopefully, I'll be seeing in the New Year as I mean to go on!

Rules, rules, rules...

I believe a good D/s relationship has communication at its foundations. As Sean and I are still new to it all (although, saying that, we've been "in the lifestyle" for at least a year now), changes in our relationship are to be expected. It's with that in mind that I am posting up our rules again, as there have been additions :)



A good slave girl must...

1. Go to the gym at least once every 72 hours, and must not let her weight fall above 12 stone.
2. Give her master respect by calling him by an honorific title.
3. Ask permission to speak, question, masturbate or come.
4. Give an audible answer when her master asks her a question.
5. Do what her master says without hesitation.
6. Give her master a meaningful hug and kiss when she meets him anywhere.
7. Shave at least once a week.
8. Be contactable at all possible times.
9. Consult her master with any big decisions, including (but not limited to) posting content on the Internet, spending large sums of money, homework and course decisions and decisions about socials.
   
10. Be open and honest about her feelings.
    

Girls, girls, girls

Ever since Sean and I started to talk about having a girlfriend to share, I've been noticing the girls around me more...

... There's one girl, around a year older than us, who we both like. She's a little skinny, but her long brown hair and pleasant manner more than make up for it. The only problem is she has a long term boyfriend... Do you think he'd mind?

... I met my old flat mate from halls last week. I love to be around her, she makes me feel so good about myself. She's looks awesome, and actually inspired this story I wrote in April. I found out a while ago that she's bi... Do you think she could be my first?

... When I went on some job training, I met a girl I had never had the pleasure of meeting before. We got on really well over the coffee break, but never met again after that. Then, a few days later, she found me on a social networking site. Her sexuality? Bisexual. It'll be interesting, because that's what mine is listed as too... Could something develop there?

Where would she fit?

After the excitement yesterday, today I have been thinking more about a comment left on yesterday's post: "...and this begs the question, how will the girlfriend fit into your D/s dynamic (ideally)?" (Thanks to persephone)

The very night that Sean first brought up the topic of having a girlfriend for us to share, he asked whether I'd prefer a dominant girlfriend or one who would also be subordinate to him. The answer was easy - I'd want her to be in my position too. To me, it feels completely unnatural for a woman to be dominating. This goes completely against my every day interactions with most women - I surround myself with dominating people, men and women alike. But I always wonder if, deep down, the dominating women really just want to give up the control. [There is one exception, something I'll go into another time, which is when a woman has the Princess Complex. But that's for another day.]

So I think I'd be much happier if she was submissive, ideally willing to give up control and wanting to be pleasing... just like me really. This doesn't mean that she can't have problems with what she wants to do - I have problems too. I'd just want her to be willing to try to solve them. I'd want her to be fulfilled by acts of submission and service. I guess I'd want her to have the same mind set as me - open and honest, willing to try things out but also not afraid to say if something really isn't working for her.

In an ideal world, she'd be able to move in with us and she'd share my house-hold chores and our bed. Perhaps she'd be on my University course; that way we'd be able to support each other through our studies, and we'd also have the same timetable. That'd mean that we'd be able to divide every thing up really well between us when it came to looking after the house. That'd also mean that things like cooking would be quicker - we'd be home at the same time and able to get dinner on the table when Sean walks through the door. Part of me wonders if all that time together would be a good thing; but then if I got on with her as well as I get on with Sean, it'd be no problem at all - we are talking about the ideal situation, after all.

It would mean that Sean would have an extra slave to discipline... but I think he'd enjoy it more than anything. Two reddened bums are better than one, don't you think? I also think there'd be some more order to it all - as she'd be able to tell Sean when I've been bad (and vice versa). It'd sort of make it more official. And as for the sex side of things... In an ideal world there'd be very little jealousy - only the kind that makes things more interesting and intense. I think if Sean spied a stolen kiss between me and our girlfriend he'd be rather hot under the collar for the rest of the day. There'd be that extra zing to our relationship. And of course, that relationship would be three ways instead of two. That'd mean that he would be able to have sex with her just like how he does with me. Again, in an ideal world, it'd turn me on. As I think I referred to when talking about slaves, it's best to leave a sex slave wanting more; and having two slaves would allow Sean to do that more effectively.

So far, all of this sounds great. We just need to be weary of the green eyed monster, as not everything works as it does in the ideal world. We still have no idea of how to go about finding someone we both like who is both into us and willing to try a little D/s. This is all fun to talk about, but in the real world it's probably going to take at least a few months before we find someone to share our relationship with - and even then there may be problems... we have, for example, never slept with any one else (either as a couple or separately), we are both still rather young too.

But in theory, this is most definitely something I'd love to try.

Excitement

Last Saturday, Sean and I went to the library with some of his friends to catch up on some work. The work at Uni is really piling up now, and that's the main reason I haven't been posting so frequently folks. I do try, and I think Sean wants me to be more frequent now.

So anyway, there we were waiting for one of Sean's female friends to come back and join the group when Sean turns to me and tells me how much he likes her ass. The statement didn't really surprise me at all. In fact, it gave me a chance to voice my opinion of her - I like her a lot. I love how she looks and how she is around me (all smiles and compliments). The very act of Sean commenting on her allowed me to realise for myself how much I like her... and once I had realised that I could go on and think some rather naughty thoughts about her. She occupied my mind for the rest of the day, both when she was around me and later when we all went our separate ways.

A while ago, Sean and I were talking about our future together. The discussion last week about marriage got us thinking more about the potential morbid things that could happen. Along with the "I'd want you to be happy if anything happened to me" talks, we also mused over what may happen if Sean has to go and work in America for a while after he graduates. I'd still have a year at uni to go. We've been in a long distance relationship before, but that time it was 60 miles. That's nothing compared to the 5,000 plus miles we'd have to endure. We were joking about how he'd be able to control my PC over the Internet, and also about a new product he's recently spied: A vibrator that can be remotely controlled over the Internet. Scary stuff. He'd also have full access to a webcam set up on my machine so he could spy on me whenever he wanted. I joked that he'd be able to "pop in" to see which girl I'd be sleeping with that week... and as I was laughing he said, "well actually..."

It turns out that he's been thinking of me being with another girl for some time, and while he'd be happy for me to have a girlfriend if something happened that prevented us from being together, I've also found out that his previous uncertainty about me being with a girl in his presence has waned. To the extent that last night, when I was lying on his chest, he said, "I think we should get a girlfriend". My heart leaped! I couldn't believe it! He was most certainly being sincere, and now all day today I've had my eye on all the hotties I saw around me.

If we're going to get a girlfriend, there's going to have to be some changes around here. Nothing major, just all the usual things that need to be changed when someone gets back "in the game". I want to tidy up the house (We're not dirty people, but we are messy. There's laundry absolutely everywhere!), and I need to learn to shave regularly. Just little things like that.

Oooo I'm all excited! Can you tell?!

Vanilla marriage Vs D/s power exchange

Well, well, well, dear readers. I've been very quiet for the last couple of weeks, and for that I'm very sorry. The new academic year started this month, and it's been hard to juggle offline life, let alone having time to see to things online. Now things are settling down a bit more, I think I'll be able to get back to writing posts at least three times a week, hopefully more (when I started this blog I wanted it to be every day, but writing about yourself in detail each day is rather draining)

What's been happening these last few weeks?

As I think I mentioned in passing a while ago (and expanded upon in my other blog), Sean and I have had a couple of problems lately, communication being one of them. The other is my want to have a family. It's something I've been battling with a lot over the last year or so, but recently I've wanted to just give up uni and have a baby and get married and live happliy ever after. This isn't going to happen. There's no way it would work out the way I want it to. Plus, Sean is going to be self employed when he graduates this year, I have a year to go (and probably will stay on in education after)... we'll have no where near enough money to look after a baby.

But I want one. I want to be married. I want to be a stay at home mum and have lots of children and have Sean go out to work and have dinner on the table when he comes home at night, with the kids in bed ready for him to read them a bedtime story.

It struck me a couple of days ago how much I was thinking about this, and in a way it made me rather upset. I wondered why I craved a marriage and children. A wedding certificate doesn't count much these days - the average marriage in this country (UK) lasts less than 9 years. Excepting the more morbid aspects of rights if one of us dies, a marriage really doesn't top what Sean and I currently have. Sean realises this, and tells me that we're going to wait. I'm less rational.

The thing that's bothering me the most though is this question. Why do I crave these essentially vanilla concepts, when what I have at the moment with Sean (A growing 24/7 D/s relationship) is more meaningful, more committing and has a more positive impact on the both of us than a marriage would?

Delving into D/s: Types of slave

I said a while ago that I'd like to take a look at some rules others have come up with to use in their D/s lifestyle. Before I do that, I'd like to explore different roles found in D/s first. For the purposes of this post, and many to come after it I'm sure, I write about a male dom and a female sub. This is by no means a judgment upon other dynamics, it's just this dynamic that I'm familiar with.

Now, we've all heard of the three types of people: dominant, submissive or switch. As has been discussed before, there are different kinds of submissive, and it is the specific role of 'slave' that I want to explore today.

There is a vast difference between being submissive and being a slave. Being a slave is the act of taking submission to a whole new level: living at your Master's feet, pleasing them, being intuitive so that you don't have to be told more than twice to do or not do something. A slave will find great comfort in being controlled (mastered, if you will), and will find a great peace when she is with her Master.

Essentially, there are three types of slave. One person may be just one type, another may be all three. It depends upon the person, and also what the dominant wants out of the relationship.

Three types of slave:
1) Business Slave
2) Domestic Slave
3) Pleasure Slave

The business slave is the one you will read the least about when reading online journals. This is a person who will happily take on tasks for the dominant that are related to work. Often, the dominant owns his own business, and the slave will take care of the mundane paper work, accounting, organising or other activities that otherwise eat up the dominant's time. The slave will often be employed by the company, therefore having a salary. This by no means de-values the slave's position as submissive. It's often hard to recognise duality of the slave's life - dominance in work, submissive in nature.

The domestic slave is one who takes great pride in looking after the home. She is tidy and organised, and is often a brilliant cook (whether she is a natural or had be to taught, she still enjoys it). There is nothing more satisfying for her than welcoming the dominant into his tidy, warm home after a day's work, with dinner about to be served.

The pleasure slave is the type most heard about when reading online journals. This is the type many submissives strive towards. A pleasure slave understands that her reason for being is to please the Master in all things sexual. Ideally, a pleasure slave will never be fully satisfied, so that she is always ready for sexual use or service. The slave has no say in when, where, nor who with; this is all up to the Master, who also has the responsibility to make sure the slave's safety is not compromised.

What would I like to be? Ideally, I'd love to be both a sexual and domestic slave. These are things that, in the long run, I'm aiming for. Even if in the end Sean finds he doesn't want to be a full-blown Master, I'd still love to be intuitive enough to give him what he wants in bed, and to let him feel that he can take it when he pleases. I'd love to be a proper domestic worker - keeping a safe, clean home. That's something I really need to work on (standards around here have dropped since we started back at Uni). I want to become a good cook. I want to get into a routine of cleaning and cooking (with a sensible menu) so that it doesn't have to change much when we have children. Oh yeah, I do want to have children. I want us to be in a stable relationship, with no problems. This is something that, ultimately, I think our application of D/s will achieve.

More resources:
London Fetish Scene Wipipeadia
Magic's World