It's Mel's time to tell the story

Wow, so long a pause between posts; we both apologise.

We've both been off of sex recently, after our last escapade (link). We've both been sore, and that pain I felt last time worried me a little. I've felt it a few times before, but never that bad. It turns out that the cure (link) is to avoid deep penetration (which isn't likely) and for me to be more turned on before sex (we both rarely can hold on for that long) so the other option is to carry on as we were and have longer breaks between sexual encounters.

For a couple of days, all we did was kiss and cuddle in fornt of the tele. Sean was feeling ill and I wasn't feeling too well either. That changed on Tuesday. Tuesdays are cinema nights at our student union, so Sean came round mine for dinner before catching the bus to campus. He told me I could have head, but I must tell him a story. If you've been following our blog, you'll know that I enjoy Sean telling me stories when I go down on him (link). That night, it seemed, he wanted the same treatment.

The problem is I embarrass very easily. It's one thing to write about sexual encounters, but quite another to say them out loud. Especially if I'm making it up and someone else is there to listen. So I decided I could quite happily go without head so I didn't have to say anything out loud. Sean didn't buy that idea. He sat on my bed and told me to find the wooden spoon, ever since the last time it was used (link) it's been hiding in my room rather than in the kitchen. He told me to lie over his knee, I obeyed. A few thwacks from the spoon and I am as horny as a ... a very horny Mel. He asks again if I will tell him a story and I respond 'no'. The spoon hits me again. He asks again, I respond with a 'no', enjoying our play. He takes off my jeans. This time it'll be on my bare. This time it stung. "Still no?" he asks. I nod. "Right".

He pushed me off of his lap and found my beloved dog chains (link). These he somehow tied to the handy pipes running along the skirting board at the head of my bed (you may also remember the handy pipes running under my desk (link) - the room designers must have been tuned in to their students' needs...) My top was pushed up to expose my tender breasts and he asked me once again. I shake my head. He hits my nipples. Ouch. He moves down my to my thighs. "Still no?" I nod. I get more wacks with the spoon.

Eventually I'm so horny I realise I need the release of orgasm. He isn't going to give me one until I tell him a story. With prompting I start telling him about a girl waiting on the corner of the road for her boyfriend. As I describe her, I find out I can't even say the word 'nipple' out loud. This is stupid, this is the man I share everything with. I carry on, Sean is now giving me the pleasure I craved. I manage, to my relief, to orgasm before I have to go on to details I feel uncomfortable saying out loud. It's strange, I can write them down. I just can't say them.

Confidence issues are a nuisance

Sean says the last post (link) wasn't what he was expecting. He wanted details and I didn't give them. I will try harder in the future to produce more posts that are in the same style of my first post (link) Last night we had more of the girl-on-top sex like the last few days. Suddenly my confidence has increased a lot whilst I'm up there. I guess it's because I don't feel under pressure to perform any more.

Sean carried on the story he started a couple of weeks ago (link) as I was knelt on the floor giving him head. I took him nice and slow, and it seemed like he was enjoying it. Soon he dragged me up to the bed and on top of him. He entered me roughly and it took me a little while to get into the act. As before (link), I guess I shifted position quite a lot. I've never been too comfortable on top. Sometimes I wonder if it's to do with my self-confidence being rock bottom, and sometimes I wonder if its to do with him being well endowed. Last night I think the latter factor had more importance. Every time I felt myself close to coming, something changed and he'd be in me at the wrong angle and the feeling would be replaced with achy (verging on painful) feelings instead. That particular night those feelings turned me off enough to put me off of achieving orgasm. This happened a few times and for the first time in a long time I didn't orgasm once during sex. Many would argue that was due to me not being 'stimulated' before sex, but that hasn't really been an issue before. I think it was mainly due to the achy pains when he was at the wrong angle. Anyway, that isn't to say I didn't enjoy the act - far from it. When he came I still felt the fantastic knowledge that I had made him happy.

I was happily lying on his chest when he apologised for the act lasting only 10 minutes or so; but he thought 5 orgasms in 10 minutes was greedy even for me. I made the mistake of asking him what he meant and went on to tell him I hadn't come once, let alone 5 times. I don't really remember the order of our conversation after that. Sean completely broke down in front of my eyes. He said that he felt he was doing poorly in every aspect of his life - his uni work, his programming skills... and now to top it off he couldn't even tell whether I had orgasmed or not. He said he felt like a lousy lover and he couldn't make me come properly any more; that he has to resort to thrusting deeply into me, which he never used to have to do, and it felt like cheating. By that time I was crying too - my depressive feelings always lurking, ready to come out (eg: link) - and we had a good cry together for ages. Sean will probably tell me off for writing that, but its true and I don't want to make up lies in this blog.

As it happened, Sean was violently and repeatedly ill during the night (thank God that I have a sink in my bedroom!) and he's since said that he always gets depressed before he's sick. The thing is, what he said will stick with me now until I think that it has been corrected. I feel like I shouldn't have corrected him about my lack of orgasm. But I made a promise to him ages ago that I wouldn't ever fake orgasms. I never have. And I guess that promise extends to putting him straight if he's ever widely out, like last night (In truth, that's the first time he's been out, which was probably why it was such a shock to him).

The thing about him cheating to get me to orgasm struck a note though. I've noticed for ages that I've required rougher and rougher sex to get me there. It sort of does feel like cheating, and its a far cry from the gentle sex we indulged in when we first started having sex. I've been craving gentle sex for about a week or so, but fear that it will be boring and will end up a lot rougher and I'll end up sorer than I have been. When Sean asked last night what I wanted to do I said that I wanted "long, drawn out, gentle sex" which he translated to boring sex and told me to think of something else. I couldn't, which is why he carried on the story (above).

Perhaps we should now take a break from our explorations into S&M and go back to gentle sex... Just for a few nights... I'll tell all the details, I promise...

The joys of family life.

As we lay in bed last night, Sean commented that we haven't tried any new positions recently. I foolishly told him that I couldn't think of any more. I think he took that as a challenge, much to my delight. I wont go into detail about the various ways my arms and legs were twisted; let's just say I was on top again (link) and there weren't any chains or rope in sight. He held me with just his hands, arms and *grin* teeth.

I think I melted.

He told me to say if he was being too rough, and at some points there was a little voice in my head telling me he was. I paid it no attention. When he entered me it was rather painful, he was rough and I wasn't wet enough. After a few thrusts he asked if it hurt. I said yes. He responded with "good". All of a sudden I was enjoying the rough, dry feeling. And then it wasn't dry for much longer...

I was very mindful of the fact that my parents were sleeping just across the hall [the joys of visiting my family home - my young brother has just walked in "what you doing?" "erm..."] and I think I would have enjoyed the whole thing more if I could have made more noise, or at least had something to bite onto. I think we'll have to explore some more when we go back to halls tonight.

top/bottom sub/dom?

Sean commented after reading my last post (link) that I need to learn the difference between dom/sub and top/bottom and suggested that I go and have a read of the BDSM wiki (link). I haven't had a chance yet, what with the computer games we've been playing all day, but I will. I'm looking forward to learning a thing or two.

The assurance that he wasn't expecting to be dominated even though I was ontop gave me the confidence to try again last night and it was more of a success. This may have been, of course, because he started ontop and stayed there until I told him (between gasps) that I thought he wanted me ontop. He said he did, but in a bit. By the time I was up there I was enjoying everything so much I didn't worry about what to do. It was great.

Sean says I've worn him out. Which makes a change. Hopefully for the better.

The norm: revisited

So yesterday we met up with the friend Sean mentioned (link). She didn't wallop Sean, but she made her view perfectly clear: She's never known me to do anything submissively. I was quite surprised to hear that. Through-out my childhood I was always submitting to her, preferring to agree rather than argue my point across. Submissive tendencies show up in my whole life, not just towards Sean. I used to regularly submit to my parents (Sean calls it parent-worshiping) and I still find myself doing so. I will be quiet and submissively agree until I am sure they actually want to hear my point of view. I will often do what they want me to do so I can please them. The same happens often with my friends. Don't get me wrong; there are times I will try and stand up for what I believe, but I am usually the one that gives in.

The friend has a long-term boyfriend. We have, like many friends, discussed things of a sexual matter. She says she's the one who determines what will happen in bed. If she doesn't want sex, she'll curl up in bed and deny him it without giving any reason. If he tries to initiate activity, she'll just ignore him. I imagine trying to do that with Sean and I see myself completely failing. If I'm not in the mood, I at least tell him I'm not and I still cuddle up to him in bed. If he is in the mood, he'll coax me and usually he wins. Then after a few mind-blowing orgasms I'll wonder if I was sure that all I wanted that night was hugs.

Another thing she's mentioned is that she'll only let him do things if she's happy that the days chores are over. For example, if he hasn't done the dishes he doesn't get lucky in bed. As she's telling me these things I wonder how she can deny herself such pleasure, and why he doesn't just go ahead and take what he wants from her anyway. I guess that's the way it works in a normal relationship. I think I can safely say that I prefer the way our relationship works.

Besides, what would my friend have done if she woke up in the situation I did this morning (link)? "Oh no, darling, you haven't done today's chores yet"?

Morning glory

Last night was our second night at my family home in my lovely double bed. Older readers may not realise the significance of this fact, but let me assure you that sharing a double bed is a lot easier than sharing a single like we do at Sean's and at my halls. We try and make full use of the space, and last night was no exception.

Last night I think Sean was in the mood to be dominated. I find it hard to dominate him, every part of me worries that I'm not doing what he wants. Which is silly, right? Because the whole point of domination is that you do what you want. But what if what you want is to make the sub happy? We ended up starting in missionary with Sean squeezing my neck. I think from that point he was enjoying domination too much to swap places. Recently we've both had a thing for biting, and he quickly started to bite my neck and breasts. There was a point when he bit very hard on my flesh (I have bruise there now) . It was an odd sensation, as if this part of my skin was acting like my clitoris and I came as he bit harder and harder. I later commented that was weird, but I'm not sure he knew what part of the act I was referring to.

After my first orgasm, as always, the second and third were not very long after and he ended up taking me from behind, pushing my head hard into the mattress. It was uncomfortable, but so very arousing.

This morning I awoke to Sean's cock pushing its way into me. I sleep on my front, so it wasn't very hard for him to mount me. I remember being amazed that I was wet enough for him, and I hope he appreciated it. That is, assuming, he didn't touch me first. If he did touch me, why didn't I wake? Surely this must be a scary thought: I'm even easier when I'm asleep than when I'm awake. At least that means he can take me whenever he wants. Which is what I'm here for.

I'm so very lucky.

The norm

Last night I was talking to one of Mel's friends over the net and I refered to Mel as "the woman"... something that I have started doing recently as I know she likes it. Her friend said she should hit me for saying it, but Mel just smiled. So anyway we are going out today with said friend, and I am expecting a good whallop... I don't know why people have to get involved. If her friend just asked Mel if she liked it, Im sure Mel would have said "yes" and blushed, but no... It's not "the norm". So I am not allowed to be dominant in even the privacy (!) of an internet chat! How good is the charade if it only takes place between 8pm and 1 am I ask you? Not very, methinks.

Anyway, I had a great nights sleep last night. We went to bed and as soon as the lights were out, and I felt her naked flesh on mine... mmmmmm.... hehehe. It was fun. She came a good few times, then I came and she swallowed it all down like a good little girl. Then we cuddled and slept. We slept for nearly 11 hours! I love her double bed, it's so comfy!

Wish me luck with her friend!

Later,

Sean.