On thoughts and feelings...

From MasterABD, when he was musing over why he blogs:

We have random thoughts flow in and out of our heads far to often to honestly believe that a punishment involves only reflection. What random thoughts flow through this girls head. What is she thinking she doesn’t want her master to know. What is she thinking she doesn’t want others to know. Something like “I was kneeling on upturned beer bottle caps writing for my master and for some strange reason what I had to make for dinner suddenly popped into my head” would be much more to my liking.

What do I think about? We know about the physical actions Sean and I partake in, you've seen some photos of us, but what about my actual thoughts and feelings? Aside from the odd out-of-character post about my depression, or the odd story post, you don't get to peer into my mind much. So let's talk about what's been on my mind these last couple of days.

Yesterday, while in the study, for some reason I have now forgotten, Sean allowed me a quick peek down his shorts. While the opportunity was there, I quickly lent over and gave the shaft of his cock a small kiss. I guess it was just a show of my affection, or perhaps I was hinting that I was a little horny. Whatever, the reason for it doesn't matter [Incidently, my kissing of his shaft eventually lead to a rather quick afternoon shag...]. After I kissed his shaft, he pulled me back up to his face and gave me a proper kiss; a tongue probing, passionate kiss. I commented that I was glad he wasn't "phobic, like some guys". He didn't understand what I meant at first, so I elaborated for him. I'm very glad he isn't one of the guys that won't kiss a girl after she's been sucking his cock. I've chatted with some guys about it before, and they've often made it clear that they won't have anything to do with a girls mouth once it's been used for giving him head. I guess its the fear of she's been down there, and it's dirty etc (there may be a part of him that fears that he would be gay if he kissed her after she's done such a thing? I don't know, I'm just guessing here...). I would be devastated if Sean looked at me with disgust as I clambered up his body after giving him a blow-job, seeking a kiss or two as a sign that he really did enjoy it. I love those post blow-job kisses. He's just so sedated and happy, it lets me shine in the knowledge that I've done well.

Anyway, after I had elaborated, Sean thought about it for a moment and soon commented that he's been there, sucked on a cock, and knows he doesn't like it much. It doesn't stop him from kissing me after I've been down there. He guessed that as he knows this about himself he doesn't have to worry about his sexuality as much as a guy who isn't so sure. So we're back to the fear of being gay, that if you kiss a girl who's just swallowed your come, you might inadvertently taste ...

Hang-on. I know what you're all thinking now. Did she really just type that? Sean's sucked on a cock? That's exactly how I felt too, I carried on thinking along the lines of why a man should worry about tasting his own come, when suddenly the words "he's sucked on a cock" sprang to my mind. I'd forgotten all about that.

Back a couple of years ago, after I had hinted to Sean that maybe I liked girls, he hinted back at me that he may like men. While my hinting about my sexuality got me nowhere (I still haven't done anything more than kiss a girl), Sean's hinting got him a lot father. Probably because he's less passive than I am. Once he knew it was fine by me if he went and explored man-to-man things, he managed to land himself a date through a mutual friend. We planned it for a day we knew I'd be working. I found this to be frustrating (I wanted to be there... I wanted a girl to play with... I was jealous of the position he was in), though at the same time it was for the best as then I knew I couldn't interfere. He went off, had some fun, and at the end of the day knew that men weren't for him after all. Oh, and he passed on some blow-job tricks that his date had shown him.

My mind wheeled with all of this knowledge I had forgotten. That old jealousy rose up again; not jealousy because I wasn't there, but jealousy because he'd had that elusive same-sex encounter. I sat quietly for a while, watched Sean as he carried on with some work on his computer, just remembering how the whole situation was brought up and how quickly he'd managed to get it all sorted out. Why couldn't I do it like that? Why couldn't I have done it in my teens, get it all figured out and be openly bisexual? (Or, indeed, know for sure that I wasn't, if that's the way it worked out) Eventually I managed to say the words, "Sean?" I mumbled rather quietly, "When do I get to go down on a girl?" He looked at me for a moment and then smiled. He mused out loud over the fact that he'd had five hours for 'free' with his date. He then told me what I wanted to hear, "It's only fair you get five hours for free too". When I asked where, he said "here", when I asked when, he told me "whenever". All I had to do was let him know as soon as I could that it was going to happen (Or that it had happened, if that's the way it goes). I was rather surprised to hear him say that to me. We had talked recently about threesomes, but then he'd told me he wasn't ready to share me. So when a girl actually came on to me at the gym (the first girl who has ever come on to me, or so I've been aware of), I declined.

I messed up my opportunity of a lifetime, my first girl-on-girl experience. She was ready for it, she was handing it to me on a plate. I just outright refused her because I thought I was doing what my boyfriend wanted by declining and leaving it to a day where he felt more comfortable.

I'm now, as the British say, kicking myself. I really should've taken her up on the offer of a drink. I should've at least got her number. So it would've been a one-night stand. So what? That'd be two firsts in one go. I just wish Sean had told me about my five free hours earlier. At least now I know. Will I ever see her again? I doubt it.

How does one go about picking up women anyway?

Technorati Tags: bisexual, blowjob, girl on girl, MasterABD, open relationship, regret

Yawning sex?

So, Mel has complained that I haven't posted in a long time. And it is true, I haven't. I have been very busy working on a project with some friends, which I must complete by September, and unless I spend basically 48 hours a day doing it, it ain't gunna get done. My apologies...

Last night.

As wednesday night was such a powerful night for my Mel, she said at the time that she probably wouldn't be horny for quite a while due to how completely satisfied she was. And true enough, she wasn't that horny last night... At least not at first...

Mel will never refuse me sex, and is quite happy to have sex whenever I want. But when she is not really horny, she just sorta lies there. She partakes in kissing, e.t.c., but she is very sheepish, she just wants to follow, has to be told to do everything, is very poor at taking hints. This can make sex a lot more effort than I think it should be. Her attention does not seem to be elsewhere, which is good! It is purely enthusiasm during foreplay she lacks, I think. Once we are fucking she is more enthusiastic again, and often comes multiple times.

Well, last night she was lacking drive. I was really horny. I engaged her in foreplay, but she was not getting hornier. I decided that, as I had told her before that as my sex slave she should always be ready for me, she deserved punishment. I opted for our new old friend, the spoon. A few whacks and moans later, and I decided we should have some variety. So I got out her oldest [and thinnest] collar, and started spanking her with that. Though, it was more of a whipping, what with this being a flexible leather, round metal studded collar.

That seemed to work. She was starting to feel the pain now! This was probably the hardest I had hit her since we moved in, though she took the punishment like a good slave, without making too much noise [our housemates were asleep downstairs].

I tried both sides of the collar, seeing the different effects of them, enjoying watching the redness come up on her bottom, which was across my legs, her feet hanging in the air, and her head and hands supporting her on the floor.

In the end I had to stop, as the side of the bed I was sat on was cutting the blood supply off from my legs and they were beginning to become a little uncomfortable. I made her stand up, where I threatened to spank her breasts a few times, enjoying watching her flinch, telling her she must stay still. When I was done with my fun, I sent her back to the bed.

We sat down, and I picked up a poster I had yet to put up, entitled 'A periodic table of sex' - you guessed it, loads of different sexual positions laid out in a table like the periodic table.

I chose position 14: 'Yawning', which apparently isn't as boring as its title suggest. The man is on top, thrusting from the knees, the woman underneath, facing the male, her thighs clasping his hips. Their fingers interlock, and she pushes gently upwards, allowing them to stare into each others eyes as the fuck.

Mel didn't fully get it from the picture [the average women's lack of spatial awareness compared to the average man is a scientifically proven fact. This does NOT mean ALL women have poor spatial awareness, but I am afraid that Mel does...], so we decided to practice, in reverse, whilst I still had my boxers on. Mel enjoyed pretending that she was the one with the cock [as her dreams may let on] and ended up humping my leg as we kissed. I love it when she grinds against me, it is so arousing!

Soon I turned her over and we engaged in 'Yawning', which was brilliant. I love watching Mel's face as she is nearing orgasm, and especially when she is orgasming. I can tell she isn't faking it as her whole face goes bright red, even purple, and drains away quickly once she has come. She stares me hard in the eyes, letting me know that she is completely dedicated to me. Wonderful!

Not long afterwards it became too much for me and I came, at the same time as her. It felt wonderful. Afterwards I was weak, and my arms and fingers felt like they had had a full workout in the gym for a couple of hours. After a bit of kissing and cuddling, I went downstairs and had a shower, finally getting to bed shortly after 2, but being cool, refreshed and satisfied. I slept the best last night than I have done for ages, I only wish it had been earlier then 2, what with being woken at 9. I generally enjoy a good 10 hours in bed per night. [It takes me ages to get to sleep, even sleeping pills don't make it come in less than an hour. Some nights I can lay awake for over 4 hours.]

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this post, it has taken me almost 2 hours to write. No wonder I don't blog often! I must get back to work now.

Laters,

Sean.

Turning into a spanko

I hope someone can help me out. The term 'spanko' - does it apply to the spanker or the spankee? Regardless, we are both beginning to enjoy our regular spankings very much. This was taken* the day we broke the spoon. It's now a slim paddle. I'll have to find a file at some point so I can smooth the edges down so I don't get a splinter. Because that would be very, very bad. The darker red spotches on my right cheek are where the spoon snapped. Even today, three days later, my bottom is complaining about being sat on. It's a new sensation for me, and a rather exciting one at that. May the spankings continue!

*Image removed
Technorati Tags: HNT, image, photo, spank, spanking, spanko, spoon

Fuck!

"Fuck!" we both said as we collapsed on to the bed together. Some lightening flashed, my eyes darted to the open window. Perhaps half a minute passed before we heard the low rumble of the distant thunder. There was a smile on my face as I lay on my back. I felt exhausted, and wished it would cool down so I could just get to sleep. The heat was making me feel restless, even though I was tired.

"So how many times did you come?" Sean asked me as another lightening bolt lit the room. This one was just sheet lightening, the thunder sounded miles away. A lot quieter than it had been some ten minutes before.

My smile turned into a grin, "I lost count after two." I knew the number was probably in the teens.

"Well, you had three right at the start," Sean told me. At the start, it had been an innocent fumble to get my panties down and my dress up. Sean had sat on the bed, and I sat ontop of him, my back towards him so I could look out of the window at the night sky. His fingers had been on my clit as I slowly moved above him, up and down on his hardened cock. As the lightening came closer, and actual bolts became visible, I had come three times in quick succession from the movements of his fingers over my clit.

"And then, uh, you had some more when you batted my fingers away," he carried on. "I think it was around five or six. Then, when we went to the desk, if I'm right, you had around seven more?" he questioned. Ah yes, the desk. It sits right infront of the window. I ended up lying across it as Sean worked me from behind. He held onto my hair, forced me to look up at the lightening. "No, wait!" he said, "I held onto your hips for at least three of your orgasms before you collapsed onto the desk. Then I held your hair, and forced you to watch the flashes. I must've seen you through at least five when we were like that. So that makes at least eight on the desk. Probably a couple more. We have to get a video camera!" I laughed then, I couldn't believe I had orgasmed so many times. But wait, there was more.

"Then when we got to the bed, we carried on rough for a bit, and you came once more before I told you we were going to start making love." Oh yes, I could remember that point. When he had said "Now let's stop fucking," I had a moment of confusion, "Now what?" I had asked, not even realising what was going to come next, "Let's make love," Sean had said. And that we did.

"I think you had around four before you said you couldn't do any more," Sean carried on. Ah yes. I had experienced that feeling before, but never on such a grand scale. Multiple orgasms are great and everything, but there's only so much a body can take. By that point, I was shaky and parts of me were spontaneously tensing, and had I lifted my head it would have felt very heavy indeed. We slowed down for a while.

"And then a couple more when you asked me to go rough again, and then once more when I came too." Sean finished. No wonder the first thing to escape my lips after we had finished was the word "fuck."

Not bad for twenty-five minutes of work.

Thunderstorms are great.

Technorati Tags: multiple orgasms, orgasm, sex, storm, thunder

What I want: realised

"So what you want is a nice hot bath, then?" Sean asked me.
"Well, yes, I guess it is," I answered. I was in two minds. On one hand, I'd really love a relaxing bath with my boyfriend. On the other hand, our bathroom is rather moldy. Good old student houses - 'Let's rent it out to students rather than spend out on renovating it!' - nice and moldy. The bathroom isn't really a place to engage in erotic behaviour. It isn't even a place to engage in relaxing behaviour. In the end I opted for a shower. It was a nice cool shared shower. We took turns washing each other. It ended up being a purely functional shower rather than a form of foreplay, so I'll skip to the part where we end up back in our bedroom and Sean had slipped my collar round my neck...

I knelt, naked, on the bed by candle light. Sean's hands glanced over my throat before he placed the black leather collar round my neck. My wrists were already cuffed and held in place behind my back by a carabiner. He then attached a chain to the D-ring on my collar. Tonight was not going to be a walk in the park. Already, my bottom was red; my fault for being naughty during the week. The punishment had been twenty-two swats with the wooden spoon for certain rule infringements. He had asked me to call out the number of beatings I had received each time he swatted me. Number ten particularly stung. I paused before saying "ten" to give me time to unscrew my face and gulp down tears. It was during this pause that Sean informed me he had snapped the spoon! [I guess I should say at this point that the 'spoon' was more of a wooden spatula. It had snapped lengthways to produce a thinner version of itself] Nonetheless, the punishment continued with the slimmer spoon, it's reduced size now making the swats rather stingy indeed.

Sean grabbed the chain, pulling me from the bed and leading me to the bedroom next door - our housemates' spare room. He motioned for me to sit on a chair, which he promptly tied my chain to. "Stay" he commanded. I didn't see I had much choice, sitting in the darkness, not being able to move from the chair. He soon came back, and I imagined the grin on his face as he knelt in front of me, pushing my legs apart. Before delving into my folds, he told me that he remembered he'd said one day that we'd have to 'christen' each room in the house. I guessed that tonight was going to be about christening the housemates' bedroom. How wrong I was.

Not soon after Sean had descended to be face to face with my most intimate of areas, not soon after he had tasted my sweet juices, he untied my chain from my chair and led me downstairs to the living room. There he tied me to the arm of the sofa, and asked me to lie along its length. I complied. I was in a totally subservient mood, due to my earlier spanking, and I didn't want to ruin it one bit. Was I in for a surprise! Sean descended down my body once more and I was in heaven - being eaten by candlelight, perfect!

Sean's lust for me soon grew too much for him. I was untied from the sofa and lead to the kitchen. Once there, the chain was tied to a chair in such a way that left me prostrate across the table, ready for whatever was coming my way. In one deft movement, Sean had mounted me. I had to stand on tiptoes to keep at the right height for him. The pounding was relentless, but good. Oh so good! My breathing was hard and loud, my lust for orgasm obvious. Did I come then? I don't remember.

I do remember that at some point we retreated back upstairs to our bed, where Sean once again mounted me, this time he was on top of me and holding my wrists down - they'd come lose at some point. I couldn't have asked for a better break to my abstinence than this. I hope tonight gets the same treatment, though we'll have to find a new implement until I get round to sanding the rough edge of the slimmer spoon. It's almost a wooden paddle now.

Technorati Tags: BDSM, bondage, discipline, naked, restraint, sex

What I want

What would I like to do tonight?

Hmmm... well, not having sex for the last week, I am pretty horny.

Not having had a proper shower for a couple of days I'm pretty stinky and sticky too.

Let's put the two together.

I'd like to take you to the bathroom. I'd like to strip you down and see your glistening body. I'd like to strip for you, and stand in the bathroom in all of my naked glory. Let's run the water in the bath. Let's light some candles. Let's settle down in the water in each others arms and tell each other of our future together. I'll wash your hair, if you do mine.

No honey, I don't want to do it here. Not in this moldy bathroom. You're getting horny, I know, but we need to get unsticky first. Let's enjoy the quiet atmosphere, away from the computers and TV. Away from our housemates. Yes, I know it's the only bathroom in the house, but they're away for the week anyway. Let's just sit back and relax for a bit.

Oh no. I can see it hardening between your legs. I guess time is running out for our relaxing bath. I guess it's time to get out.

I'd get out first, I know you like to see the water running down my body. A towel? Yes, I guess I should have one, for my hair at least. Here's yours. Here's a hand to help you get out of the bath. Have I been naughty these last few days? I'm sure we can think of something I haven't done. Or something I have done that I shouldn't have. I'd run upstairs, giggling as you swat my bouncing ass.

Yes. What I want tonight is some sweet, clean fun.

Technorati Tags: bath, relax, wants, water,

Sugasm #39

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